Dear Anita

Thanks for your response and your careful analysis which has helped me to know more about myself.

To answer your questions,

1) I think I am more prone to crashing. Because I can go too fast, and I am too sensitive to what others’ emotions or what they might be thinking about, and there are often signs that I detect before it rings an alarm bell for everyone else. For example, I spotted that the amount in the cash register does not match what is on the software, and I actively look out for signs, and when the software says that there is an error, I immediately note down the amount of discrepancy and inform the manager, so that when we close, the amount should not be out by anything excess of that. I also notice carefully others’ behaviour, and I can easily absorb the negative energy if it happens that others are stressed too at work. I also tend to “overthink” about things, however, when I use this positively then I can easily find solutions to problems that can be difficult for others to solve.

But when used negatively, I can go a million miles an hour, get lots of things done, and I am also like a smoke detector, constantly working to see what everyone else is doing. So in that sense I can be overworked and I am prone to stress.

2) The frustration that I mentioned to another member is related to the cash ups. I do not want to think excessively about what has happened. Because I do think that out of all the problems at work, the one that troubles me the most is another THEFT, what might potentially happen again. And I have access to the safe now. So I am taking up more responsibilities as time goes on. I try to bring it up to the manager without mentioning the word “theft”, or blaming anyone specifically, as I don’t want to point fingers at anyone in case my suspicious are wrong.

Because there could be more than one person involved, or someone might admit to it to cover for someone else, etc. It is increasingly frustrating for me, as the manager now has a policy to facilitate the cash ups, which again, are not followed by some of my coworkers when the manager is not present. This significantly slows down the cash up process, I have to go overtime.

The person who is taking the lead (Well, I don’t want to go into further detail, it might sound even more confusing.. But I am on the main team, there are certain shifts when the manager is absent, as it is her day off, and she does not want me to do those shifts. She wants to be sure that everything is going well, before I work more independently, also she has not seen how I work with the second team. I think she is a good manager. She has worked in other places where she did not get along with her coworkers, so she wants to be sure that I can work well with the team, before putting me on those shifts. But she can’t change the big boss’s decisions. I have been allocated to the second team on certain shifts as per the big boss’s instructions, due to staff shortage. There are only two overlapping members between the two teams: Me and Giraffe), in this case, is Giraffe. I am going in circles now.

But I tried to dodge the bullet by either me, doing all of the cash ups myself, or not participating in any misconduct or crimes by falsifying any of the claims on the forms that will have my signature on it. It has become frustrating to me, as the manager has explained carefully what the new policies are with regards to cash ups, however they have not been followed closely. Also in my efforts to collaborate with Giraffe, where I read out the numbers to her and she writes down the numbers, I do not know if it is intentional or not.. But the numbers she writes down clearly do not match what I said.

I have had a long week, I had been sick (many coworkers have had the same thing, feeling a bit light headed, and coughing a little bit, though no one has tested positive for COVID), so at that point, I was really frustrated.