Hi guys, here one more time… not sure what happened to the text. Hope it turns out all right.

My wife and I are married more than two decades. Both of us are conflict avoidant, she tends to passive aggressiveness, I am more of the people pleaser.

For around one decade the relationship was great except for her silent treatment, sulking and defiance at times.
Then we had a few setbacks (job, finance, house) and she went back to work, full time. From that time I felt that something is a bit off but I couldn’t determine what it was. Today I know that she became more self-centered, distant, less affectionate and put in less effort.

4 years ago we had a major crisis. Her passive aggressiveness became more intense and frequent. I started to research. The research pointed quite clear to a personal disorder. She found out, felt betrayed and withdraw. I apologized but we never managed to get back to normal.

One year ago I even chattet with other people.. similar to here. As well she found out, accused me of an emotional affair which I didn’t had.

Today she seems OK but the relationship is just functional and quite single sided. Reciprocity, affection, connection, etc. all that is just not there and when I look back it has never really been there. This lack of connection let’s me think if that is the right relationship for me..