[quote quote=434480]Dear Debs123: You are welcome! “I accidentally hit ‘report’… My apologies“- mistakes happen, you are forgiven for being human! “he left me 3 times, bailing in commitments he made, leaving me worse off than the time before. Specifically, financially… He got caught in a lie, one that made zero sense to even lie about. Said it was the only time he lied, only to slip up the very next day about another lie he told. So he lied about lying“- talking about mistakes (above), lying is not a mistake such as unintentionally hitting the wrong key on your keyboard. Lying is intentional, intended to deceive. His behavior overtime is a pattern of misbehavior that has hurt and harmed you. “Why would I even want to see him ever again???“- good question and I would like to explore the answer with you. Would you like that? anita[/quote]

Hi Anita. Thank you, again, for your reply.

His lies are intentional and hurtful, not to mention wondering many, many times if he was lying. I had a lot of gut feelings he was lying on many occasions.  These 2 I found out about…I had a gut feeling when they happened.

There’s more to the story, as there always is. He did nice things for me throughout the times we were together. He had a way of making me feel special, that I was important. However, he was unkind at times also, making jokes at my expense, saying mean things in the heat of the moment. He told me to go fix myself (I became insecure, doubting things he said, questioning so much, things like that). There just seemed to be something missing, holes in stories.  He hated conflict, so when I would approach him about how I was feeling, like when he seemed “different” to me, he would eventually blow up at me because, for me, it just wasn’t resolved. He was tired of me bringing things up, that’s when he’d yell.

I can’t wrap my head around him rejecting me again and again, after promising me so much. A life together. How do you love someone and turn around and keep walking away?  And why can’t I let it go?  I know he is not good for me. I just want to forget him. I don’t know how. I don’t know why this is happening. I’ve been in relationships that have ended, and I’ve always moved past them. This is different.  I feel like he played me every time, like he was pretending to be someone he’s really not.  But gosh, he was so believable. It hurts my heart, still.