<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi Anita,</p>
Thanks for sharing, the dedication you’ve had to healing is really impressive.

On the topic of CBT – this was one of the things that just didn’t work for me at therapy. I can usually tell when I’m assuming and/or overreacting. But with my boyfriend, he admits that I’ve been right every time I’ve been upset with him. For example I could tell when he was avoiding me despite him saying everything was okay, and it took multiple efforts at talking and expressing that it was hurting me for him to admit what was going on. My problem wasn’t that he might want some space, but more that I wanted him to be upfront with me about it. This pattern has repeated in smaller incidents. Such as, he will give very slow text responses to plans when he feels some hesitation about them, but he has never explicitly communicated that until later.

So I don’t think my problem is that I’m imagining things, but more that I overreact emotionally if that makes sense. He has promised to work on communication and I’ve noticed he’s been more open with me recently so I want to be more patient and give him a chance to change. With some of these issues, they’re so minor and I want to stay calmer despite feeling frustrated.

I definitely want to look more into mindfulness. Meditation skills have helped me a lot in the last few years and from my understanding mindfulness is similar. And I totally understand how increased social interaction can help. I have always felt my anxiety and people pleasing tendencies worsen when feeling isolated and lonely. I’m glad you’ve been able to build a community, these forums have been so helpful to me too even in this short period of time.

I’m happy to hear that going no contact has helped you – I’ve thought a lot about this and will probably also take that path eventually. It’s such a difficult decision to make.