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#438279
birds of a feather
Participant

Thanks much Anita. Sorry it has taken me a while to respond. I think you are right that I am the anxious type in my friendships.

Sometimes I feel that he cares for this friendship, sometimes I don’t feel that way. Yes, we used to share a lot of our most private thoughts and feelings when we were still in the same social circle. I don’t understand how not being in the social circle could change so much of our friendship. If it was me in his shoes, I feel that I would not have done that.

One good thing is we will finally catch up in person in a month (instead of two months). He said ok to my proposal of an earlier date, but proposed a 45-minute time window. I am not sure how to make sense of that. Last time when we caught up in person a month ago, we had chatted for over two hours – mostly just standing by the street but we were enjoying our time.

I think I just feel anxious and confused. I am also not fully sure if he is the avoidant type. For example, I’ve told him recently that I’m not feeling well and may not reach out for a while. When I did finally feel better and send a message, he sent me a long text message and said he was so glad to hear that. But when I reached out again a couple days later, his responses became much more formal and distant. I am just not sure where I stand sometimes and I want to know.

Most recently, I shared some work struggles with him, but got a long and formal response back which makes me feel that I am talking to a counselor instead of a friend. I am just not sure how to respond back to his long and formal message? Is this his way of asking me to back off?