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Reply To: Should I keep in touch with them

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#438510
Krish
Participant

Dear Anita
I am currently studying and still not settled. I feel always let down by my family and always they undermine and disrespect me. I understand that I had a toxic father who was not available most of the time when I was growing up and he was subtly controlling. My sibling was always the favourite and my parents made decisions for me. My parents brought me the matrimonial proposal and I chose what was best at that time with two alliances and I made a wrong choice. My parents were not okay with the proposal and I still stood ground and got married . But it was wrong decision and my parents blame me for that. According to them they are always right even when they make wrong decisions. I felt controlled and had low self esteem and even now I am dependent on them as my life circumstances make me that way. I lost my mother to cancer and also my dad never understood my mental health . I moved away from them as I am starting a new course in a foreign country . But still my dad says that my sibling is my saviour and I should be gifted to a sibling like that. I feel let down and also they never include me in any financial decisions or never disclose the financial investments in the family . My father said that I might lose the property due to my irresponsible nature as according to them am a spendthrift

Since I am called irresponsible I would say that my dad can give all his property to my brother and I honestly don’t want this anymore and get more put downs and insults

my self respect makes me feel that I should renounce the property for good and get estranged from my father and sibling though they support me . I never felt included and want to steer clear of dramas

I don’t want their money as I will work hard in life to stand on my two feet and my self respect makes me feel that I should never contact them

I am happy being single the rest of my life and also am not a materialistic person and I want to lead my life in peace . I don’t have dependents and am a minimalist

one thing I can’t tolerate is dramas and putdowns. I had enough of toxicity in my life . Though my father is subtly toxic I can see where I subconsciously picked abusive partner from. I attract narcissists and emotionally unavailable men- my ex was one . I have closed that chapter for good

please suggest me what should I do to ensure am at peace. I don’t want to rely on them not even for a single penny