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  • #48589
    Marce
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    My boyfriend of one year recently broke up with me because he stated ” He did not love me as much as I did.” This has been one of the most difficult break ups because I had never cared and felt this certain way for someone. I met him one month after he had moved from Greece to the United States. We were that couple everyone wanted to be. Then I made the mistake of lying. I had stayed friends with an ex boyfriend and I had kept that from him, but once I got ot know him better I came clean and told him. He felt so betrayed and did not speak to me for days. I stopped talking to my friend and we moved on but eveything went down hill from there. He did not trust me and we would fight for small things. He would do things I did not like and I would do the same. I will be honest I did very immature things at time but one thing I am very sure of is that no matter what I was always there for him..ALWAYS! I helped him financially sometimes because he was new to the US. I did little things like take him lunch or make him dinner or even randomly bake things because I knew he had a sweet tooth. I did it becuse I wanted for him to feel loved. One day I made a scene …and I mean SCENE because he was angry and I had no idea why and I kept asking him to share with me because maybe I coudl help. He got so frustrated he got up and left and sense then our relationship ended. I am having such a hard time becasue I keep asking myself “WHY did you not leave him alone?” “What if I did this instead of this” The blame is killing me and I do not know how to help myself accept the facts.

    #48595
    Mark
    Participant

    Hi Marce,
    In my experience and from what I have read about relationships is that they end around the one year mark. This is when the romantic phase ends and the power struggle phase starts. http://www.loveatfirstfight.com/relationship-advice/relationship-stages/.

    Both parties play a part in the success or breakup of the relationship. You can beat yourself up or when calmer, you can learn from the relationship. You ex has responsibility for his part. If that fact helps you deal with blame then I suggest you examine how your ex’s behavior helped caused the demise.

    Plus acceptance of the end of a relationship is part of the mourning process. It may help to realize that there are stages to that as well.

    I wish you peace Marce and patience with yourself.

    Mark

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