Hi. I would like to share my issue as I have gone to a point where I don’t know what to do. I have a younger sister who has been a bit of a trouble when she was 15-17 but then she calmed down. She is a great girl, with big heart but she has a very low self esteem, constantly complains that she is fat, ugly etc. After highschool she hasn’t been working for a year and a half, literally doing nothing just sitting at home watching movies. Her boyfriend is the only one who works, while she is like a housewife. My parents and I have been trying to encourage her to find a job or continue studying but she doesn’t want to do neither. She says she will do something when she will feel like it. I recently had a huge fight with her because I had enough, parents are still supporting her financially. It is ridiculous she is 21 years old now, doing nothing with her life, no dreams, goals, nothing. So when I confronted her and asked when she is planning to get a job she said when she will know what she wants. She doesn’t know when, but not the minute sooner. Also when I commented that maybe she should start to take more care of herself (she is very stylish etc, but since she has gone into this mood, she couldn’t care less about her appearance) she misread it as calling her fat and ugly, and even though I said it isn’t what I said she already didn’t listen. I can’t win with her! Any compliment I say she denies it and when I say something critical she starts to scream at me or threatens me. I don’t know what to do, I feel so helpless. I love her and wish her all the best but she doesn’t want me to help her. All she does is thinks that she has had such a tough life (she hasn’t), that nobody understands her or loves her, that poor her, all world is against her. Like she would be stuck in puberty. It drives me mad as she is healthy, good looking girl!!
My parents are the ones especially suffering because they blame themselves for everything even though I can assure it is not their fault. I have been there when she has acted badly and there was nothing my parents could have done better. Now they feel scared to say her something because of the way she reacts whenever I try to encourage her. So everyone pities her including herself.
If anyone has encountered something similar, I would really appreciate an advice.
Thank you guys in advance.