Thankyou again for you last reply, im sorry for the delay.
Since my last post, me and lou talked and she ended up asking me questions about our future, for example living together and kid etc. even though ive been desperatley trying to figure out if i want those things with her, i still couldnt give her an answer. I felt terrible but i didnt want to say yes to those things without being 100% sure on the matter.
Lou wasnt impressed and since said that she isnt waiting around for me any longer and is going to move on. I feel terrible and scared that its all a mistake that i will regret, but why couldnt i give her the answers she wanted?! I hate myself for it.
I suppose the only comfort i can take from my actions is that i surely would of decided i wanted all those things with her by now, if i did? The fact that i couldnt decide must mean it wasnt meant to be surely? I must sound mad, im sorry, its just i found your advise reallu interesting last time.
I suppose i just have to start trying to move on myself and exept that it wasnt meant to be?