IT is great that you are looking at this carefully to see where you could improve or where you need to set a firm boundary.

First, disagreements are normal. But it sounds like you are not communicating effectively with each other.
What I mean by this statement is that you are each bringing up complaints, but not talking about your feelings around the complaints.

Also, you are both seeing this as “his way” vs. “her way” rather than looking for “our way”.

His unfaithfulness would be a red flag for me and would lead me to seek couples counseling to work on communicating and being more loving to each other.

Life is too short to be in an unloving relationship. That doesn’t mean there won’t be sources of irritation and conflict. There usually is with two different human beings. But is the conflict/disagreement managed together, looking at both people and their feelings and always in a loving way?

This work is not easy and must be done together in the context of a loving partnership. And may need the support of a counselor.

Loving someone does not mean accepting their view of reality as your view.
If he’s not willing to go to counseling, that says something about his commitment to the relationship. And I would suggest you seek a counselor to learn on your own how to have a more loving relationship.

I particularly appreciate the work of Harville Hendrix.