Its scary to learn that our destiny completely rests in our own hands, but it does. It is up to ourselves to live the lives we want to live. I want to be a writer, but no amount of wishing can make me a writer. I have to do the work to be a writer and even if I do write and I think it is great I have more work to do get others to read it and like it. If I’m not making money writing then I need to have a job in order to support myself and I can write in my off time and then really writing is more of a hobby then. I feel some sort of despair to think I have to waste a 1/3 of my days working jobs I don’t want a future with while I could be writing because I like writing and it takes a lot of time to write, but I also have other priorities in my off time I barely have time to work out anymore (my other past time.) I’m not sure you can relate to this, but we can’t always do what we want because there are a lot of things we need, food, shelter, bills etc… If I start to think about it I feel like I am drowning or trapped in a little box suffocating, but there are some positives. At least I have a job, I can write as a hobby, learning new things gives me inspiration, and I feel that I am serving others so I am helping them even if it isn’t the way I want. I am optimistic though that if I keep working and making goals for myself, then maybe I won’t be a writer, but maybe some good will come of it even if it is only a better philosophy of life!