Inky and Matt, you are both very wise and I thank you so much for your responses. I too feel sorry for his soon-to-be-wife. I’m sure she has no idea what she is getting into. I am sure as heck not going to be the one to tell her. Inky, don’t worry about jacking my post. I am always up to hear about how others handled the same situation. In any event, your words do help. Matt, thank you so much for the matra and the explanation about first romances. It makes a lot of sense. I will use this matra religiously, I am sure it will help. My husband who is very intune to my moods, etc. already suspects that there is something going on with me. He doesn’t know what, but he has asked me numerous times if I’m okay. I usually tell him I am tired – which I am. But mostly just tired of feeling this way. The ex-boyfriend has taken up too much of my time and thoughts already. My husband is good about back massages when I need them and taking me out. That’s what makes this so frustrating. He has respected me more than my ex-boyfriend ever had and yet I am hanging on to this dream as you describe. The ex-boyfriend is codependent, wishy washy and adulterous. You so hit the nail on the head with this one!. I just want you both to know that I feel so much better with your advice. Thank you so much!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Lorraine.