Yadizmarie,

I know it can be tough when our partner doesn’t come to the plate, join us where we wish to be. We can compromise, but when there is a genuine neglect of desire, intimacy crumbles. You could give him notice, such as “hey, this connection between us is fading, you OK with that?”, but, if he’s busy with his son, or trying to makeup for a lost childhood, or whatever it is, if he’s not there with you, he’s not there with you. You deserve someone that is.

When our partner just doesn’t see the same things, have the same priorities on a dealbreaker concern, its usually time to grieve. We can accept that we tried, did our best, and it didn’t work out. So we cry, get angry, get hopeless, let go… and then slowly take down the pictures, stop dwelling on the loss. Patiently, taking time to let the tears out, flow away from us, past.

That’s when all the good nurturing we do has the space to blossom. You’re a strong, beautiful woman, following her dreams. You sparkle. So, what do you wish to grow for yourself? What do *you* want? Try not to want others to change, that gets sticky (“if only he would”) Instead, imagine the qualities you want to have in a partner, and in yourself, and try to be open to the unknown, the possibilities. That’s a good compass!

With warmth,
Matt