Hey Ana,
Thanks for sharing. After reading your post it seems like it is your thoughts are the cause of your mental block.
I have also been afraid of being judged in the past and since I cannot honestly put myself in your experience..I can only say from my own experience that what helped me is realizing that when I was afraid of judgement by others I was actually judging myself. I was blocking the full expression and potential of myself because I was afraid of what others thought. To be honest dealing with what I thought about myself is a full time job and considering what others might think is so much un-needed work.
As you said yourself “I can do a hell of a job”. Stick with that.
Something that has helped me in so many areas in my life, and definitely in situations like you’re having is to just be with the feeling. Watch the thoughts..let them come and experience what it feels like to just be with the thought and feeling instead of adding on top of the experience more thoughts trying to push it away.
Despite everything I have said though I always feel like you know yourself better than anyone who can write to you or make suggestions so always stick with what you feel in your heart.
Wish you the best,
Cody
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 