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Reply To: marriage.. to save or not?

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#62316
zaica
Participant

hmmm.. thanks for asking J…:)
family to me for now is just the three of us… that’s selfish right?… i want to fix my marriage and my own family for now.. that’s why im thinking of my family first.. i know i have to make peace with my inlaws someday but im not so keen with the idea right now, to be honest..i believed once i get married, ill be starting my own family..
i take care of our baby day and night… that’s why i feel sleepy even during daytime.. nevertheless, i still make it an effort to help around the house whenever i can manage it.. but there would be times that i couldn’t so maybe that’s also one of the reasons why my husbands mother and sister got irritated with me.. but there came a time when his sister was not talking to me at all.. she acts as if im not around… and keeps on banging things whenever im within hearing distance… i got pissed off by that.. coz i dont know anything that ive done that might have offended her.. in turn i asked my husband to please find a way so we can live on our own… he still couldn’t afford it so we agreed to wait.. but as the days pass i also felt his mother growing distant with me.. then it just burst out one day… then a confrontation happened.. we were all shouting.. i talked back to his mom.. forgive me for that… then i found out what was bothering his sister.. she was accusing me of getting money from their store.. i snapped… never in my whole life was i ever accused of stealing.. heck i could even ask my mom the same amount of their capital on that store… if not for my husband who wwas holding me back i could have slapped her actually.. but she managed to pull my hair.. she asked me what im so proud of to act as if im rich.. (modesty aside, i grew up in a somewhat well-to-do family)..so maybe that’s why im no good when it comes to household chores.. i asked her back on what she was proud of since she’s only a mistresss… everything exploded after that… it was wrong of me.. i know… but she did that to me a lot of times already.. actually , when i think of it now, she was a bully.. she bullied everyone in the family actually… and deep inside i resented that.. maybe that also triggered it, why i snapped…
my husband on that day told me to pack my bags when he found out that his sister went out after our confrontation.. he told me he doesnt want me anymore.. even when iasked for his forgiveness, in talking back to his mother, and shouting at his sister..
honestly, i was brought up to control my temper at all times.. my outbursts could just be counted in one hand.. i usually stay silent when im angry… but im really full of it, although ittakes a while before that happens.. i burst out…and end up hurting everyone…
im regretting my outburst that day..but it already happened.. and there’s no going back…