Alpal,

Consider there are two pieces. One is the mystery, one is the dissatisfaction that there is a mystery. Said differently, who knows why your friend acts the way she does, people grow in different directions, uniquely aimed, and so forth. This doesn’t cause the dissatisfied feeling. Its just the unknown.

It seems like the dissatisfaction rises from grabbing onto her actions as though they are all about you. As though her responses mean that you need to change, grow, or know yourself better. “Why does she do that with me? Why is she not another way?” Getting answers to those questions often feels like it will bring peace, but they just bring more questions. Better to just let it go, in my opinion, and in the quiet space when your mind wanders, take the reigns and direct your attention toward forgiveness. “Whatever the causes for our rift, I forgive you and myself for those causes, may we be free and happy.” Then, her responses will perhaps not trouble you as much, not become about Apal and her beautiful journey. That’s when we can hug those that agitate us, not becoming an energy donor, but honoring our own heart by giving love when we can. As we walk away from the hug, even if they post a FB zing about us, its with a smile and nod and peace of heart.

With warmth,
Matt