Linda,

Healing such a bruise to the relationship takes time, and trust regrows slowly, usually. The rule of thumb I offer (without knowing more of your backgrounds) is for every lash a thousand kisses. Don’t go into the bathroom, and try to shake off the mistrust alone, rather bear your mistrust courageously, openly, and offer him a chance to shower you in his heartfelt honesty. Back rubs, foot rubs, poems, songs, flowers, ask him to take his heartfelt creativity and tenderness and slowly, patiently work out the knot of mistrust.

As he does, try not to fault him his imperfections, and instead try to receive him with the intention of his gift in mind. Like, even if he buys the wrong kind of flowers, rubs too hard, or sings out of key, if he’s doing his best to love and honor you, let him, open to his unique style. 🙂

That being said, also don’t use it to your personal advantage, such as “making him pay for his crimes” or “boyfriend prison”, rather let it be just the natural path of healing for broken trust. Try not to cling to thoughts and feelings of “what is he doing now? Who is he with?” and so forth, but let it be known when they arise like “yep, here’s some more” to keep him in the loop as to what is happening on your side. Hopefully, usually, his heart will naturally move him to comfort you, offer tenderness into your hurt. Said differently, if you two can embark on this journey hand in hand with courageous communication, love will do the rest.

With warmth,
Matt