Hi Marblewings
Thanks again
I somehow feel that he still have feelings for you (sorry if I am wrong), that feeling might be confusion, guilt, or any feeling that is deep inside him
Live the best life for yourself now, take good care of yourself, if you need to (or want to) stop/cut contact for some time
But one day, when you are ready or when you want to (no obligation) forgive him, even not as a ex(boyfriend) but as a human
I for one would feel bad if I hurt someone that bad
You are a super girlfriend for him!!!
I am praying for both of you

All the best my friend

Howard