Hi Mia,

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I’ve been down the same road as you. I was depressed during my childhood and most of my young adult life. I was plagued with some of the same issues too. I really admire that you recognize these feelings within yourself and are taking time to address it now, before you make any major life changing decisions (motherhood/marriage, etc).

Part of my past unhappiness is that I had an emotionally painful childhood. I interpreted my parent’s lack of emotional love and attention to mean that in some way I was flawed and unlovable. I also felt very lonely, because I was so afraid of getting to know myself. I had conditioned my mind to think I was a bad/ugly person. I finally overcame those feelings through years of therapy and treatment for depression. I had to stop seeking validation from others and give to myself the love and care that I wasn’t receiving.

It sounds like you could benefit from therapy. Please talk to someone at your school to see if they can recommend a therapist for you to speak with about your feelings.

You also stated you feel stressed about school. Have you really asked yourself why you picked the subject you did? I spent one year studying business and even wasted $ on the GMAT exam, only to finally realize I hated business, but I choose that major because I believed business is the pathway to a lucrative career. Yes, studying is going to be challenging no matter what the topic is, but if you are having a hard time staying focused, please consider exploring other areas of interest that don’t feel so much like a chore.

As for understanding your purpose, once you get to know who you are and embrace what is unique about you, you will then understand why the reason you are here and what your purpose is on earth.

I hope that you continue to address your feelings until you can solve them. Please take my advice and seek out a therapist. This is a little bit much for you to handle all alone.

I wish you the best.