Hi Megan,

I’m sorry that you are hurting…but it doesn’t have to be this way.
You said you didn’t want encouraging words, but the cold hard truth…well, you’ve come to the right place!
I deal in reality and sometimes people see me as lacking in empathy or sympathy…but my goal is to help people find a way forward…not feed their victim mentality. As they say…if you want sympathy, talk to your girlfriends!

Having said all that, grief is a real emotion and it can’t be argued away. What can be argued away is the reason for the grief.
That’s what you have to attack. I would ask you…why are you grieving? Did you expect your first relationship to last forever? Are you different from the rest of us, in that most of us have some good relationships, some bad ones and some for life. The chances of you meeting your “soul mate” straight out of the barriers is pretty remote. The reality is, wise people use their early relationships to learn about ourselves and others. We enjoy them while they last and we understand that there’s every chance that we may not be compatible in the long term, and that we might decide to go our separate ways at some time. That’s life.

I think, rather than grieving, you should be so happy that you had the opportunity to have the good times you did and that you learnt the things you did and that you are now in a better place to dodge the hurdles in your next relationship. You should make peace with your ex…a fellow traveller who’s also just trying to navigate life’s pitfalls… and look forward to the next adventure.

If you decide to hold on to the grief and regrets, it’s going to be a fairly painful journey for you.

Now…back to being Mr Nice Guy….I hope everything works out for you….

Steve