Hi Courtney,

I just wanted to say that I feel for you and am sorry that you are dealing with this. I too am feeling the loss and heartbreak over a relationship that I feel could have been wonderful if only….

I was looking for a life partner that will have a commitment to me the way I have for him, the type of commitment and love as you describe that your grandparents have. Even in the dating process, I “jokingly” said that I was looking for a man willing to wipe my behind when I’m too old to for myself, because I will do the same. I too believe in “for better or worse” and even if you did not ever get a Dx of dysautonomia and POTS, simply having anxiety does count too in my book.

I am not angry at my guy though and I think that is because I can see his limitations. I can see that he loves me but is just unable to be there.

It sounds as if he loves you but began feeling inept and fearful because of your illness.

This is so sad to me that he decided to separate instead of be a source of comfort and support when you were scared and needing support.

“I truly believe we’d still be together if I’d never gotten sick. ”
This stands out to me to be considered. Maybe you are right. But maybe you could have gotten sick three years from now with him leaving. Or maybe you would have kids together and that caused stress that could make him leave? I see so many couples break up if the kid gets an illness. Idk. So many things happen in life. I’d caution you to not blame it on your illness, but that we all have limitations and abilities and maybe another person in the same situation may have comforted you and been a source of strength instead of blaming you.

I’m not trying to blame him though either because I don’t think that will help with your forgiveness of him. Instead, we are human, different, and while we grow, we also have limits at times. I am just sorry that he felt that he couldn’t manage. That is the best I can offer for now as I too am sorting out a loss of someone that I know we could be wonderful together if only… So I hope you can find some comfort in the words here.