In high school I suffered from eating disorder but eventually got better. When I left for college, I weighed 120 pounds and was 5’6. At that weight, I drank large coffees from Dunkin filled with sugar, all kinds of unhealthy food. But I could still wear my size 0 jeans. When I went away to college, in semester, through binge eating on junk food, super unhealthy dining hall food, not having dance in my life anymore and binge drinking at least 2 times a week, I gained 17 pounds. When I went to the doctor in December and saw that number I was shocked. I knew I had gained weight. None of my jeans fit, I felt disgusting. All I wanted to do was cry. All those old thoughts I used to have returned. The first thought I had was to not eat for the rest of the day. When I would eat, I had to battle the urge to make myself throw up. I hated who I’d let myself become. I transferred in the spring and made it my mission to lose those pounds. I started calorie counting to lose weight but with a healthy weight loss goal. I stated eating more fruit, eating salads for lunch. I don’t drink anywhere close to how I used to. I joined a Zumba class and aim to go to the gym 3 times a week. Sometimes I can do more, sometimes less. I feel so much healthier. Even then when I was 120 pounds. Do I still have moments where I hate how big my hips look or how my stomach isn’t perfectly flat? Of course. But when I do, I try to remember how I’m doing the best I can. Although there are things I want to change, I can honestly say that I’m happy with how I look. I totally get not liking the focusing on what you like. I don’t like that either. I could say to tell you that you can dye your hair, use nail strengthening treatments, etc. But that won’t truly help you. You need to stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself. Really look at yourself. Acknowledge everything you hate. For me, I ate my thighs, my stomach, my hips, how my arms aren’t as toned as I want. Be brutally honest. But then focus on the good. Not just physically. For good, I’ll say how I like my eyes or something but I also say how I choose fruit over that piece of cake, or how I made it through the ab portion of Zumba without stopping, how I got a good grade on that test. Anything good. Realize there is so much more to you than your looks. Eat healthy, exercise, be around positive people and the rest will follow.