Dear Nicole:
I read your response. That loneliness and lack of attention in your childhood- that lack of being seen, validated, comfortem… it is an injury, a wound, a trauma that is still hurting you. How are you going about it in therapy to heal from it? What is the game plan there??? I hope your therapy is more than just catharsis, talking and feeling better. I hope there are skills taught, objectives and a plan about how to meet them…???

i found lots of clarity and sense making in “complex post traumatic stress disorder, C-ptsd” diagnosis (not part of the symptom oriented DSM). There is a website by this guy that i found very helpful.

the repetition compulsion- getting stuck in a relationship with a person that is as unavailable as our parent/s and trying to make him SEE us and love us just like we tried to make the parent see us and love us.

The fight to be seen, attended to, accepted, comforted, safe…
anita