Dear Stasia:
When you wrote about your sister in law that her neighbors and co workers don’t like her, it says nothing to me because I don’t know WHO those neighbors and co workers are: are they decent people or are they … child molesters themselves… “Nobody likes her” is not an assertion that has any weight with me.

What has weight with me is: “She fights and argues with the little girl like a peer…She will ‘baby talk’ and stick her tongue out at the girl.” This is relevant evidence to me that your sister in law is abusive to her daughter. Whether she engages in physical sexual stimulation of her daughter or masturbates in front of her daughter- there is no way for me to know, or for you to know at this point. What is certain is that her parenting of the unfortunate girl is inappropriate and abusive emotionally, including sexually.

The problem with her husband is again, not that he doesn’t have friends (a decent person may prefer seclusion and have no friends and an abusive person- and there are examples of even serial murderers may have plenty of friends…), but that he witnesses the abuse of the little girl and does nothing to stop it.

Another comment: I believe that children at this age- at any age- having sexual sensations and masturbating some is not unnatural, maybe even quite natural. You may want to research that…I knos a few young children that did express sexual experiences and I have seen very young children touching themselves.

What about contacting child protective agency in the state where she lives, having the online evidence that you have to support sexual abuse and state your experiene with what the girl told you? Ask for their advice as to what to do? Continue to monitor her online postings- you might get even stronger evidence of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse of the little girl does not have include the mother actually having sex with the girl. Sexual abuse can be in the postings online by themselves.

Hope you do help the unfortunate little girl. How unfortunate for her to be adopted by this woman…
anita