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#77738
Anonymous
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Hi Jim/Jamie:
Just came across a post on this forum of two years ago: http://tinybuddha.com/topic/my-family-says-they-wont-go-out-in-public-with-me/- written by a female-to-male transgender. Here is a response by Mandy on that blog: “My son came out as female to male transgender in August 2011. He’s been on T injections since January 2012, and is doing really well with the injections. I don’t think anyone would misinterpret him as female now. I am so very grateful that we live in a community that supports these transitions so well. He’s so much happier, more confident, more at peace with himself and the world.

I understand your parents to some extent. The hardest part of the transition was telling everyone – neighbours, family, co-workers, friends. I got no negative reactions at all, but it is hard to initiate such a private discussion on such a public level. We’re using to dealing with issues like sex and gender privately, in the home or doctor’s offices. It’s hard to put your family’s private life out there in the public eye, and have those emotional discussions over and over again, but we got better at it with time. Once that step is done, your family can focus on supporting you. As parents, we need to remember that it isn’t about us or our needs, any more than it was about us at 2 am when one of the kids had a stomach flu – you do what you need to do to protect your kids.

The adjustment in pronouns was another challenge – it’s mostly just about habit, but your parents may need some time to grieve for the daughter that is going away before they can fully embrace you as their son. It seems strange, but that grieving process needs to take place. If you can give them some of the reading material that’s available, it may help them to read about other parent’s experiences. Let me know if you want links or other info. We’ve found some great suppliers for things like binders in Canada.

You have immense courage and compassion, and I hope that your family can find those strengths in themselves as well. Know that, no matter what, you are an amazing person who deserves to live a life that is honest and true to yourself.”

I Felt I had to share this with you!
anita