Hi Bren. I believe Janice and Olgak are one the right track. When we have strong emotion turmoil going on, we find something that numbs the pain, makes us feel better, then we do it excessively. It can be drugs, alcohol, food, work, sex, ect. Thats how addictions start. The problem is, its only a temporary fix. It sounds like you have made some positive changes already with the exercise and cutting out alcohol. Don’t be too hard on yourself and take it one step at a time. Good luck!!