JJ,

I’m sorry for the troubles along your path, friend. I’d like to apologize on behalf of our ancestors for being so misinformed, so fearful and grasping. In their folly, they thought they had figured out what “true nature” is, and often attempted to squash anomolies to those. Its always more difficult for people that don’t fit the nice neat bell curve, and those that do not have been too often made to feel bad. Like stones tossed by ignorance, and they happen to catch the heart of a child, hiding, feeling alone for the exploring done in private.

But Jim/Jamie is not something you do, its just something you are. Nature unfolds in infinite diversity and combination, and all of it just is what it is. While its becoming better understood now, in the 50s and 60s, less typical configurations of nature were still scaring many people as it forced them to redefine how they saw their world. It still does, for some, but many, many others its like “OK, cool, whatevs, sis or bro. Do you prefer Jamie or Jim, he or she?” If someone isn’t there yet, consider they’re now the one at the end of the bell curve, and deserve our compassion. “You have a problem with my gender? Wow, that must be hard for you.”

For the leftover shame, consider: nothing you do can disconnect you from your nature. Grass grows, and is just grass. Trees grow, are just trees. You grew, and perhaps fit in the middle of traditionally structured genders, but are still just JJ. Imagine a person standing over a strawberry bush, and saying “strawberry bushes are disgusting”. Huh? The bush is not the delusional one. Ya know? That’s a person, pointing at an aspect of god, and judging out of fear. Pity them compassionatly, perhaps, but don’t join them. Fools will be fools, and with luck, learn in time.

For the regret with mom, consider that you weren’t ready. Too many fools pointing their finger at you (by proxy, you hiding but nodding, crying) to feel safe talking about it. No worries. Here you are now, talking about it. And, if there are people that you don’t ever want to talk about it with, dont feel like you have to. We all have secrets, and we share them with people that earn our trust. Very normal. And, if they haven’t earned that trust, its their loss. You sparkle.

With warmth,
Matt