Dear misunderstood:
One more thing. I am pasting again what you worte: “I feel my life is in turmoil and the only healthy thing to do for me and my family is to stop contact. It kills me to say that. But ive tried setting up boundariescand limiting contact but she wint accept that as shecdoesnt accept me.”

You stated here that you already tried setting up boundaries, limiting contact with her but she did not accept your boundaries. Her lack of acceptance of your boundaries and lack of acceptance (or respect) of you and your current family makes having contact with her, any contact with her, insane. Do you see that?

anita