Dear Sweet:
I feel affection for you. It occured to me as I read your last post above, it being a stressful situation for you and your husband that it is better you don’t have children any time soon. I am sure you thought about it but it occured to me how terribly that would complicate things, making life even more difficult than it is now. I read some of your husband’s acquaintances have babies. I hope you do not get to see it as a solution. You indicated none of that so it is completely coming from me. Better not make things more difficult if you can control it, and not having children at this point can save SO MUCH additional trouble and stress.

That is a lot of walking after work and I see your frustration with working on an entry level. But you and your husband are working for the benefit of the two of you, as a couple. You are in this life together. This is exciting, in a way, isn’t it? You are in it together, and it will be so much better if you learn to work together better, more effectively than you do already. To find ways that your presence in his life gives him energy, not take it away. And same about his presence in your life. There are certain Interpersonal Skills that can greatly help here, one can be called EAR: Empathy, Assertiveness, Respect. If you communicate with him in these three ways, it will work, as long as he does the same. Before you bring up a subject to him, ask yourself what do you want to achieve? What is your goal? What do you want to feel about him and what do you want him to feel about you? You want to do what is right for you but also what is right for him. Have a WIN – WIN interaction with him, the only kind that works for your benefit.

Even though you are stuck at the moment in an entry level job, at home, with your husband you can progress into high level interactions, advanced, evolved through experimenting and learning. this is also exciting (I find myself excited this morning, as I type this).

You thank me often. My interaction with you is a win- win interaction for me, a win-win online friendship, so thank you as well!

Later:
anita