Hi Anita,

Apologies for not posting this yesterday, I got interrupted with a phone call and forgot to hit submit!

I think the experimental approach you outline is certainly one way of moving forward, but I feel that Matt’s correct with the book metaphor with regards to why I feel the way I do, and that relying on that part of my brain even more would be a mistake. Not because it wouldn’t be a powerful tool in helping me move forward in an effective and constructive way, but because it would only increase my reliance on that part of my brain even more, when arguably, it already has too much influence on the way I understand the world and myself.

That doesn’t mean I’ll abandon it completely, I just need to get out of the habit of it being my default tool. Spontaneous joy is hard to experience when it has to first pass through my analytical filter, though that’s a sacrifice I’ve made up to this point because that analytical filter is just as good at numbing spontaneous pain. I think it’s like you said regarding a wise mind being made up of a both a rational mind and an emotional mind, and I’ve let myself become too polarised in my thinking.

There will undoubtedly be times that I’ll need to apply it to control my emotional state, specifically, there are times I can get a bit (only a bit!) manic, so during those occasions that I’m feeling almost euphoric, I try to keep things in perspective and balance out my emotional state using my rational mind so that I don’t have to deal with the lows that come after if I let myself fly free. So yeah, that’s a use of the rational mind that I intend to keep using.

Going forward, I will undoubtedly fall back on my analytical mind at times without even realising it, as it’s use is far too natural for me to just turn off, but I’m hoping that I can catch myself when I do that, and consciously choose to turn it off…when it’s appropriate of course!

Kaz