Dear Gen:
You mentioned traveling alone as a way to know yourself. I traveled alone, ended up at one point in Paris, many years ago- there I was right by the Eiffel Tower and there was this elevator going up the Eiffel Tower, a Tourist Attraction. i was lonely, bored and depressed. I looked up the tower and thought to myself: I guess it is the thing to do, since I am here, to go up the Eiffel Tower, would be silly if I don’t- I am already here. So I went up – and down- and the experience meant nothing to me. At another place, Belguin I ended up in a small town Dragon Festival, somehow I ended up on someone’s shoulders watching the dragon running around or whatnot. I didn’t see the people I was with there, just that hour or two, or hte man on whose shoulders I was, but at the time I felt so very happy. I felt for that short time that these people were my friends, and maybe the man on whose shoulders I was- wasmy boyfriend and that small town was my friendly town and all was good.

I learned now looking back that the way out of depression is connecting with the right person or people, a positive, healthy connection and nothing else. That quality of what feels like love, even for a moment…

You asked what I suggest you can do to get to know yourself. I would say be with people- in a different way, deep conversations, connections- even one person, be real with him or her, what other way is there to know yourself if not through a connection with another? I think it is the nature of the human biology to seek connection and to know oneself through it.

The trick is it needs to be a certain connection, honest, real, personal.
anita