Jeena,

I agree about the distance thing. It’s just that for me it’s difficult (all that fear stuff I mentioned). And totally agree on missing 1/2 of the experience–you don’t get eye contact, the way he carries himself, what he looks like, and all that stuff. You have certainly given him enough time to make a move. I guess what I suggested kinda would sound like an ultimatum; I didn’t think of it that way until you mentioned it. On the other hand, I do wonder what his response to you cutting him off entirely would be. But it does sound like cutting him off is the right thing to do–as it looks like you did, as I read your response to Annie. He’s had plenty of chances, and it’s not like you haven’t been asking him to meet or skype after all this time. So, for the sake of your emotional self, cutting him off does seem like the best idea. He’s not giving you what you want, and his professed love for you hasn’t been enough to get him to reveal himself visually.

Should you say something? At the moment, I’m not sure. There are pros and cons to both tacks (telling him you’re cutting him off vs just doing it). I’m the kind of person who would go full disclosure and cut somebody off and tell them exactly why. On the other hand, last time I did that the whole thing was extremely messy and heartbreaking. Also, after years, if he really doesn’t know why you’d be cutting him off at this point, I’d be very surprised.

Also, I’m hesitant to say someone “should” do something, because that implies that not doing said thing means you’re disappointing the person suggesting the “should”. Know what I mean? Telling someone they “should” do something (particularly in this case, since I don’t know the circumstances other than what you’ve written) feels a bit categorical to me. But I don’t need to belabor the point 🙂