Thankyou so much for your reply. The example you gave of Thanksgiving is exactly how I would deal with a situation that would suit me but my boyfriend is telling me that because of this we are becoming 2 seperate people. We are becoming disjointed,I see his point but don’t know how to change that. I go to some things but not others,I see this as a compromise but he can see on my face,when I make that effort,that clearly shows I feel awkward and uncomfortable!
The final straw came over xmas when I made zero effort to spend time with his daughter who had come to visit him! I knew I’d feel left out,jealous,annoyed and they would sit and talk about shared memories that didn’t involve me! He spends so much time with me and my daughters,he was so hurt and angry.He also has a younger daughter who is hoping to start spending weekends with my boyfriend! How will I cope with that? I am so worried as I feel I have no control over my awful behaviour! I want to change so bad but just seem unable to! Xx