Dear Danni:

We are born loving and lovable. We love our parents completely, unconditionally, eager to please them, to get their approval. If we are fortunate, our parents, at least one of them, loves us back, lets us know in their talk and behavior that they SEE us, see how we feel and that our feelings are valid and reasonable and they help us in all the ways we desperately need to be helped and guided. Most importantly, they love us back, if we are fortunate.

When that doesn’t happen, when the child is ignored, dismissed, neglected and/ or abused, the child grows up with anxiety, distress that hurts them as adults.

… so what do you do? You need a HEALING relationship to make up for the relationship/s that hurt you, the one with a parent/s. This can happen in the context of good psychotherapy where you get to have a professional but … loving relationship with a therapist who is empathetic to you, who SEES you and makes you feel that your feelings are valid and that they make sense. Through that relationship you gain insight and understanding and eventually.. you finally get to love yourself.

Did you think of psychotherapy? Please do post again.

anita