@Ava

Sorry to hear about the current circumstances you are in. I have never been in this position before, but i hope i can give some suggestions.
As much as it’s enjoyable learning new things is, if it becomes so disruptive that it’s causing problems and impacted your life so perversely than you need to question the benefits of it at all. A lot of the time, when i have worked with others, the bonds i have with others that i work with, make the job enjoyable, not the other way around. When my mentors left where i worked, i realized that it was pointless staying since they were the reason i stayed to begin with. Maybe it’s like your situation? Because this issue is really affecting your self-esteem, confidence to perform and depressing you. Maybe speak to who is in charge and state (calmly) that unless you’re respected as a worker, than you will have to consider your future. No matter what happens, just be calm and know that you can walk out of that place whenever you want. That’s the power you have. Always remember you have power, it may not seem like it now, but everyone has power to change what they don’t like, that’s your right. you own your body and mind, not others. The fact that your professional life is bleeding into your personal one, means you need to evaluate what is more important to you. Which can you not live without? And i know that you need to and want to support your family, but you can’t do that if your emotional hurting all the time.
I hope this was some what helpful, i can’t help feeling hopeless in this situation. I wish you the best. Good luck.