Dear Kate:

Maybe his language is mixed, as you put it, because he is indeed ..mixed, that is, confused, conflicted. And he is hoping to resolve his conflict in counseling. This is a good step for him to take, and I hope he attends competent counseling.

You have no control over what happens in his counseling. What I suggested earlier is that you support him, be on his side, accept and respect his feelings. This is the best you can do in this situation: be his best friend. Let him state how things have been for him and don’t try to change his thinking about how things have been for him.

Good counseling will not help him change his mind. Good counseling will help him be aware what is already in his mind, bring up- in the safe environment of counseling- the truth about his past and life. You can be a safe place for him as well and that is the best you can do!

anita