Dear Andy:

The question, then is: ““How could someone do that (go into another relationship 2 weeks after a 4 year relationship with you) to someone they love?”

Possible answers:

a. There were troubles in the 4 year relationship for a long time before the breakup. It was a gradual process of breaking up, only you are not aware that it was gradual. It was not something solid for 4 years and then a sudden breakup. There was lack of communication between you and her for a while before the final breakup. And so, she didn’t “do that”- that is, she didn’t out of nowhere cut the relationship and started another.

b. The relationship was solid enough for the great majority of the 4 years, then for a couple of months, a few weeks (as sudden as I can imagine it to be) there was a deterioration of the relationship and so, within a couple of months your relationship with her deteriorated and she started a new relationship.

I am taking a break here to ask you if you choose a, b, a combination of the two or none …something else?

anita