The point is that our common friends told me that she behaved this way towards me cause she was very hurt and does not believe that I’ve changed. The dilemma in my mind is that once we were together she told me that she never felt this way about anyone else and for the first time she wanted someone to have kids with and now she acts like i am the plague. Is all that love gone now? Was it ‘real’ love? Is it just her defense mechanisms? If i knew for sure it was not real love, then i will let her go.

When i say let her go, i mean in my mind, cause physically I’ve never bothered her again. I just sent her a letter 3 weeks ago to apologize for my behavior in our relationship and that i drew away from her to find my self and that I’ve always wanted to have kids with her. A friend handed it to her. My friend told me when she read the letter, she said absolutely nothing and seemed skeptic for a while.

Well, i guess i can’t do anything else from now on. I wonder if she will give it some thought…