Dear John_1:

You wrote: “Yes, i deliberately hurt her over and over during our relationship. But it wasn’t that i didn’t love her, but just the opposite.” I am disagreeing with you. When you deliberately hurt her, you did not love her. When you intended to hurt her, to cause her pain, what that was your motivation, your desire, you did not love her. What you did feel when you intended to hurt her is anger, the intent to harm.

In between the times you intended to hurt her, maybe you felt affection, love, regret, I don’t know.

It always has been her decision, her choosing, to pursue you as she has, to give up and it will be her decision to get back with you or not. Always be honest with her, you owe her that. Especially her.

I am glad you went to counseling and that your sincere intent is to not hurt her anymore. Please post anytime, updates…

And hope her surgery goes well and that she is well, as well as you.

anita