I can relate to your situation and I know it is very hard. I am divorced with 2 children and I have to say I am so much happier now than when I was in an unhappy marriage. It felt like there was no room for “me” in my marriage. Now that my children visit their father regularly I have some time to live my own life and be my own individual person. In my marriage I felt like I was working all the time. I was a wife and a mother, taking care of everyone else while my needs were not being met. I grew angry and resentful and miserable.

I too lost desire for my husband and I cringe at the thought of living with him again.

That being said, it is lonely and stressful being a single mom and I do sometimes wish I lived with someone who I could love. And it would be nice to share parenting with a father. So we could share household duties and enjoy the kids together. (But I still don’t want to go back with my ex.) But if there is a way you can be happy while staying in your marriage, that would be worthwhile to pursue.

I would recommend making time for yourself. Even if it means getting a babysitter, so that once or twice a week you can leave the house and do something that you love to do and that makes you feel good. Maybe even go away for a weekend without the kids – either by yourself or with your husband.

I can understand your need to do things on your own. Maybe you can accomplish that while still staying married.

I also know it is hard to trust your husband after he was unfaithful to you. It must be stressful since he works long, irregular hours.

I hope you make it work out so you can grow old together like you imagined. It is hard when you have young children that need so much time to care for them. Good luck!

I am wondering do you still love your husband and enjoy your time with him? Because it would be