Dear Anita, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for looking into my issue with such sincerity and willingness to understand and help. You’ve done more for me in this regard than anybody in real life did… even my own blood family. It should tell you how much it means to me. Thank you, thank you so much!

I had never thought about this issue in this way, until you pointed out these particular incidents and correlated them. Your explanations make perfect sense to me and its true that my subconscious revulsion towards being mollycoddled like a baby throughout my life, being subtly or directly told that I’m delicate and vulnerable and incapable of taking care of myself, my own lack of self confidence and maturity due to all this, all of it contributes to my anger in some way I don’t realize. Adding to it, I was always shunned by the “cool” guys in school and when talking in a group and people don’t respond properly to me, I feel unwanted and ignored.

Its not like I dislike my grandmother, I love her a lot but you can see this kind of thing is very extreme. In fact, when I was preparing for college entrance exams, she didn’t let me go to any good coaching institute out of this very argument (“You’ll be out in the hot for long and might get sick, you’ll not eat well”) and insisted that I get home tutoring only. Which was very abysmal and as a result, I could not get admission in a good college. I cannot say anything because she gets offended very quickly and my parents tell me to just be quiet and accept everything. Although this issue is far less relevant these days, what happened in the past seems to have surely left some impact which induced this dreadful temper in me, I’m sure.

But I cannot excuse myself for my behaviour and for ill treating someone so dear to me, no matter what the root cause is. The end result is that I’ve become a detestable and vicious person. I just wish to become a good person again, make up for my deeds and reunite with her. Thank you so much again, Anita. Truly I’m grateful.