hi anita

first of all

load of thanks for showing the patience fr going thru such a long story and dissecting it beautifully. u r an epitome of patience. thanks a lot. really.

u r spot right in concluding ..i m a salesman…a compulsive one..even in life..
but life can’t b lived this way. here s i want to end this loop. live authentically,love authentically.
but the need fr attention,appreciation and love runs deep. it makes me sell myself. whats the remedy to live in alignment with true self.

it an ego driven,identity based life. but that is hw the world works, where every one is judging the other. rewards depend on them, say friends,second date,jobs and respect. so i went fr this game, but now i want a change. definately.

all people engage in this self presentation as society socialises us in perfect roles and ideals. my problem is it has become centre of my life. nothing matters except the image, no feelings,emotions or desires.

one more think this need fr appreciation and praise,,,is this a need f my authentic self…or lack of self worth which needs validation.