7 Things to Remember When People Don’t Support You

“I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!” ~Theodore Roosevelt

I’m currently doing the whole “quit my job to pursue a dream” thing. I left the security and stability of having a salary along with a supposed career.

Back then, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I had no experience in blogging, plus I didn’t exactly have the confidence to market and start running a business.

Sounds crazy, right?

You can imagine the reaction I got from my friends and family. The support was next to nothing, and people generally never understood what I was doing—what I was trying to do.

Does this sound familiar?

You may not have done something huge, like make a career shift, but perhaps you’ve offered a different opinion, and everyone just disagreed.

You would have expected more from your loved ones. I know how disheartening that can be.

You expect support and encouragement from people you consider close to you only to be completely rejected, criticized, or worse, laughed at.

It can be really hard to swallow all the “noise” around you.

I was taken by surprise by some of the things I heard from friends; some of the comments were particularly hurtful.

I think it boils down to learning how to not care so much about what others think, and also, conversely, understanding what goes on in their minds.

I’ve come up with a little guide of reminders that I hope can help you keep going if you feel alone.

1. Your passion is a priority.

A lot of people go through the motions in life, not doing what they love. They end up constantly looking back, asking themselves, “What if?”

Whether people support you or not, do you really want to look back in regret one day down the line? To not know what could have happened if you tried to do what you really wanted to do?

This love of yours is one of the most important things in your life. Follow your heart, and not the words of others just to live up to their expectations.

2. Life is short.

It may be a little disheartening to have people around you discourage you, but remember, life is short.

Do you really want to spend your time feeling down over others’ words when they’re completely unwarranted, baseless, and probably not making any kind of sense?

Do you really want to pull back on following your dream or doing what you want because of others, and start living a life that probably doesn’t fulfill your potential?

Remember that life is short, and it will be easier to stick to your own convictions when other people disagree with your choices or put you down.

3. Others may not fully understand.

People who don’t support you and discourage you may not actually be bad people who intentionally want to destroy your dreams.

Sometimes, they just don’t understand why you do what you do, so they voice out their concerns, which may make them seem dissenting.

I personally try not to take it to heart when people discourage me. I see it as they need a little education and explanation. Or sometimes, I just ignore them.

If anything, since they don’t fully understand, I don’t see why it’s something to be upset over.

4. Sometimes others are insecure.

Sometimes when people don’t support what you’re doing, it may be more about them than you.

It could be plain ignorance or even jealousy, but some people tend to attack things that are new to them.

So again, don’t take their words to heart. If their criticism isn’t constructive in any way, they may be discouraging you because of their own fears and insecurities.

5. Remember anything is possible.

Nobody can predict the future for certain.

The people who don’t support you might paint a gloomy picture of what’s to come if you do what you want to do.

You don’t know the future either, but do you want to listen to others instead of believing in yourself?

Don’t let objections from others become your truth and limit you from creating what you want in life.

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself and work hard.

6. You can do this without their support.

It’s natural to want support and encouragement from the people around you, but it is possible to do what you want to do without it.

Just think of how many successful, inspiring people took the road less traveled.

You’re a very powerful being, just by yourself. Believe in that, don’t give up, and you’ll go a long way, whichever road you take.

7. You can’t please everyone in life.

You can’t. It’s impossible. And a lot of people forget that.

If you try to please everyone, it’s going to be next to impossible. So don’t bother. Keep your focus on what you want to do and why.

In an ideal world, would we could constantly surround ourselves with positivity. We can’t do that, but we can work on ourselves so that we stay committed and positive.

Are you surrounded by naysayers? How have you dealt with this?

 Photo by Seattleye

About Alden Tan

Alden Tan writes about honest and real stories at his blog. He's both a passionate writer and Bboy. Check out his free book, 12 Things Happy People Don't Give A **** About!

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  • Dochy

    This is SUCH a wonderful post that rings so true!!! I could totally relate to all that you were saying. I had a similar bout a couple of years back when I wanted to quit a well paying software job because “it wasn’t feeling right”. From the outside, i had everything–a great office close to home, lovely colleagues, excellent work timings with hardly any stress/pressure, “dignified” post/role @ work–it was a dream come true for many! But I wasn’t happy. the job content was not utilizing my potential to the fullest and the main problem was I didn’t know where else I wanted to be!!! But I wanted to quit this job since I knew it was sucking the joy outta my system…
    My family, which has been my greatest support through everything, all my life, was appalled when I told them. This was more because I had no clue where my interests lie. My father told me, “See, if you wanna quit and go into something as wacky as film direction, I’m ok with that, but since you dunno what to channel your talents in, why don’t you stay in this job, find what you truly want, and then shift?” Of course, it makes perfect sense like most of the things he says all the time 🙂 but I couldn’t pull through in that job any longer. i quit and went through one month of lack of support, lotsa fear, anxiety and stress over how the future’s gonna be like…
    Soon, after a little bit of introspection and with ample help from a good friend, I realized I could get paid for what I love doing – reading books! And, right now, its been 2.5 years since I joined as an editor in a leading MNC in my city! I’m happy, my parents are super jubilant too 🙂
    One thing I’d like to add onto your list is:
    8. Remember, its bound to get better soon! 🙂 and in the end, it’ll be totally worth it!
    Thanks again for this wonderful post, Alden!

  • So true!


    These are things that can make you loose faith in a lot of aspects – ultimately in humanity and life itself.

    My way of dealing with it, to avoid becoming a bitter old bastard, is to try to understand WHY the persons (or Furries) react the way they do. As stated in the post it is ALWAYS something within them that triggers or explains the result.

    Sometimes it is actually out of a misdirected attempt to protect YOU from hurt and failure (often done by parents).

    Great, great and inspiring post!

  • tammi

    Enjoyed this article. The interesting thing is that often, the naysayers will dish out advice even though they don’t have any real experience with the subject matter. Most people mean well – I thank them for their advice but remember that just because they couldn’t succeed at something, doesn’t mean I won’t succeed.

  • Jacquelyn

    Great piece!!! I also recently left one career to follow my calling to develop a music ministry with only the belief that I had to do this. I am blessed to have the support of friends and families, even my former coworkers, although I know some may be confused by my methods, which don’t fit old paradigms on ‘paths to success’. But I have more faith in myself and God than I do in anyone’s opinions, including the occasional fear that may arise (which remind me how to be patient and to remain trusting and faithful).

  • Navy

    I’m currently going through this myself where I’ve come at a crossroads in terms of what to do career wise. I have a stress free job with good hours, decent pay and also close by but I also feel depressed. I dread going into work everyday and I also feel that it’s draining me.
    Originally I wanted to quit here and apply for something better paying but I realized that wouldn’t make a difference. It’s the same type of office setting which is very mundane and routine. It wasn’t until I met someone who now as a friend, has showed me that it’s possible to make your dreams come true. Their optimism wotj their life and how they’ve pursued their passion became very inspiring for me.
    I decided then and there to pursue mine: pursue my passion for art and teaching. I’ve become very happy since I’ve started painting and drawing again. I haven’t had a creative outlet in so long. Slowly over time I want to build my name as an artist and host my own exhibition, collaborate with other artists…use my art to beautify the world And inspire others. My other passion is teaching. I enjoy teaching others and making that small difference in peoples lives. I’m pursuing my own tutoring business as well.
    If all I ever wanted was the money then I could stick it out with this job and move up in the company. I wasn’t happy and I felt lost and drained, even depressed. Choosing a path that allows me to make a difference and pursue my passions has made me feel happier again and I feel that I’m living, enjoying life and its little things. I’m thankful to meet that one person who inspired me to follow my heart and follow my dream, and that it is possible. I’m also thankful to have the love and support of my parents, for not putting me down and allowing me to pursue a path, which to most people, doesn’t seem practical and secure.

  • Hey Tammi,

    I know right? I had a lot of flak on my current relationship and it amused me that people think they were qualified to give out advice.

    Glad you see it that way :). You can succeed. Nothing else matters.

  • That’s awesome Navy.

    It’s great you already know your passions. Some people don’t even know.

    Passion is inspiring, for yourself, your life and those around you. Great to know that your parents are there for you. The support of those around you would help a lot too.

    That’s why successful people emphasize surrounding yourself with positive people.

  • “More faith in myself”.

    You nailed it!

    Other’s opinions don’t matter 🙂

  • Thanks Furries,

    Yeah finding the underlying issue and intent of what they say matters too. Sometimes it ain’t all that bad 🙂

  • Thanks Dochy!

    Awesome! Reading books and being paid for it. THAT’s the bigger dream.

    But hey, think about it, it was probably the fear, anxiety and stress which brought you all to where you are now. And the universe is never wrong.

    And all you did was try.

  • Joice

    It takes courage to become who you really are 🙂 Thanks for this great article.

  • eh, so so article. i appreciated the spirit in which its given but disagree but many of the specifics. anything is not possible, in fact most things are highly improbable or so improbable as to be effectively zero. however, everything does not need to be possible in order for your hopes and aspirations to be probable.
    most the other portions are nicely stated. and i do appreciate the general theme of self referential self reliance

  • Polly Peace

    This article really rings true with me. Thanks so much for posting it. I quit the 9-5 of a job I was uninspired by, unmotivated in and generally ungrateful for, because it was so far removed from my passion. I decided to go back to uni and get my teaching qualification which was the best decision I ever made as so many doors were opened up for me along the way in regards to other passions of mine. As a result of choosing to follow my heart I now get to enjoy teaching plus I work as a professional singer and also have my own vocal coaching business, something that would probably not have been possible had I been still doing my old job. I’m inspired to write now (another passion of mine) and a few books planned which I can’t wait to get started on. All of my family and the majority of my friends have been so supportive, but there have been friends who have made unsupportive comments (some insinuating that I’m just lazy) which at first really used to make me feel I had perhaps chosen a wrong path. Now, after some time reflecting, and on reading articles such as yours, I totally know that I made the right decision and that I don’t need to take any unhelpful comments to heart. You are right, many people try to dissuade others from a path that they wish to travel but fear that they can’t, perhaps through insecurities or jealously, and it’s useful to understand this so that they voices do not become your own limited beliefs. Thanks, Alden for reminding me of this!! 🙂

  • Polly Peace

    😀 your story is so like mine! Good for you for following your true passions. There is nothing quite like it, is there?!

    You say “I’m also thankful to have the love and support of my parents, for not putting me down and allowing me to pursue a path, which to most people, doesn’t seem practical and secure.” This is exactly how I want to raise my daughter – your parents sound ace and this is so the type of parenting that we need in this world. My parents are the same and I think it makes a big diff!

    All the best with your new career 🙂

  • Amen Alden.

    A great reminder that not everyone is waving the flag for you when you decide to flex your creative muscles and choose the improbable or impractical path that deviates from “conventional wisdom”. That brings up a lot of fear in people when they see you doing what they wish they had the courage to pursue.

    I just turned 50 with a family and a mortgage in New York city and am in the process of pivoting from the daygig blues to blogging and helping others unearth their own unique stories and live their passion. Trust me, the silence can be deafening sometimes from your support network. But in that silence you can find your strength of conviction that the dream is worth it and so are you.

    Thanks for this.


  • go Alden

  • Courtney

    Inspiring! Thank you kindly!

  • Denis Howe
  • No prob Joice!

  • Already got hooked at “Own kind”.

  • No prob Courtney!

  • Thanks Stephen!

  • Hey Mark,

    Love it! Your story is already awesome. The silence is deafening sometimes indeed, but hang in there! It won’t be silence when you grow even older when you look back. It will all be colourful memories.

  • No prob Polly Peace!

    I get flak all the time, from what I do (blogging) and having a relationship with someone overseas.

    It used to bother me a little, but meh, after awhile it amused me that these people, who are clearly unhappy too like to talk too much.

    Love your story. Unique talents indeed 🙂

  • No prob David! Thanks for dropping by!

  • Craig Ruvere

    Alden, thank you for the wonderful post. I really needed to hear your 7 tips today. I’ve been involved in many creative endeavors in my career and am currently unsure of where I am and want to be creatively.

    Creative people are not easily understood by those who have a more analytical mind. We are passionate people who need to follow our dreams in order to feel fulfilled. #7 pretty much says it all…you can’t please everyone in life and at some point you have to stop trying. If you haven’t pleased yourself, what have you really accomplished?

    All the best to you my friend…

  • lv2terp

    Fantastic list!!! Thank you for sharing this insight 🙂

  • dawn@joyfulscribblings

    Great post and just what I need to read at this point in my life. I started a new blog in February, but didn’t really publicize it to friends and family until last week. I have gotten a lot of positive feedback from people, but there are certain people I haven’t heard from which surprised me. I try not to take it personally and just keep plugging away. Kudos to you for following your dreams!

  • arushi

    I am exactly in the same situation. Quitting my job on a month’s time in order to pursue my dreams. I don’t know what result will be, but what I know are 2 things- I don;t want to be in my current job and to give my 100% in my upcoming exams- gateway to my dreams. Thanks for sharing your experience !!!

  • This post gave me the right inspiration at right time which I was looking for! Thanks a lot! 🙂

  • Hey Craig!

    Glad it helped. Nice! I know right, creative people really do think a different way, which I think is really cool 🙂

  • Np!

  • Nice Dawn!

    Yeah as long as you’re not aiming to be controversial, it’ll be all good with a blog.

  • Nice Arushi! What’s your dream?

  • Glad to hear Sharma!

  • jsah

    These seven tips are very helpful. I realize when people question someone else’s decisions, they really are thinking about their own insecurity and limitations. They have never been through what you are experiencing so a lot of questions come up (why are you doing this? what will you do for money? what will people think?) as well as their expectations of possible failure (what makes you think you can do this? what will you do afterward? I don’t think you can do it). I made a couple of major life-changing decisions that I’m happy about because I did it for myself, and it brought me to where I am today and I am very happy. Now, I have much smaller goals that are just as important to me and not easy for people to understand why I’m doing it. My husband is the most supportive person I have ever known, and because he sees how passionate and determined I can be, he will support me all the way!

  • Chris Lappin

    Alden I loved this post and it serves as a wonderful reminder.
    I gave up employment for self-employment in 2000 and a few people thought I’d gone mad! The majority were simply worried and concerned for me as employment is the norm.
    Someone once said to me that if you do, or don’t do, something because you’re worrying about what others will think, then they are in control of your life.
    Thanks for your insight.

  • Chaitanya krishna

    Very inspiring article. I am also in the same boat but I don’t know what my passion is???

  • Christian

    Hi Alden, this post was really meaningful and put some perspective into things for me. While my situation is different, I saw many parallels in your article. People constantly question me about decisions with regards to my relationship with a treasured person in my life, though I told myself what I did was ultimately the responsible thing to do. Sometimes I eventually cave in and begin to believe what others say and it gets awfully confusing at times. Thank you for this article, it really helped alot.

  • Kal

    I must add one thing: Sad as it is, often, when you undertake something huge, everyone will oppose you. If you fail, they say “Told you so.” But if you SUCCEED, then everyone will praise you, as if they really believed in you all along. It’s not pretty, but it’s true.

  • christina

    This article is great confidence fuel to continue what it is that I am doing with my life despite the lack of support from the most important figure in my life. I have held back and tried to follow a safe route when I really wanted to go off the beaten path and explore all there is to life. I have strayed a little but never fully committed.

    Well, now I’m off the path hacking my own trail slowly learning to balance on my own without the support I thought I desperately needed.

    I’ve learned that As time passes we gain more confidence in trusting ourselves so when moments without support arise we can stand steady and continue on our way.

    Thanks for your wisdom

  • Hayley

    thank you

  • Heartless one

    I have gone through the ringer so to speak the past few years. Moved out at 18 went to college had a few jobs couldn’t find my niche but manged to land some pretty great jobs. Now 24 going on 25 and I moved back home this year after two deaths in my family I have two younger sisters 19 and 20. I being the oldest and coming back home have my own dreams but I am constantly not good enough. The only one who will pitch in around the house , etc. I go to bed crying numerous nights a week knowing I do so much and it’s never good enough but the other two do nothing and are still shining stars. I am at witts end!! I don’t want to cut off contact with my family nor should I have to move but I am concerned for my own well being ! I am constantly feeling crappy because of the negative moods in the house. It felt like the right thing to do after the deaths in my family to move home but I’m so torn ? I am more than appreciative of everything that was done for me when I was little and I show tons and tons of support , help around the house , errands , etc. this article was enlightening but I’m still torn as to how I should feel. Does anyone else go through this ????? Thank you for your insight !!!!!

  • razan

    Nice topic 🙂
    Please would you check my blog i am new and i would love the support .. thank you

  • blondie

    I’m 25 and still living at home, my parents keep banging on at me to find a ‘career’ type job, but I just want to find a job that will make me happy. They try to control & manipulate me all the time, and I suffer from very low self confidence and self esteem because of them. I just want to live my life the way I want to, and not have them riding my back all the time.

  • MaRia

    Thank you for this article, I have a business idea and eveyone around me is being so negative towards it 🙁 this has really helped me significantly, again thank you so much.

  • Arnächt Kanjaberenz

    Alden Tan, I don’t think break dancing is good for you. Stop wasting your time on this endeavor. I absolutely don’t support you in this.

  • Andrea

    Thank you. You have a great site here filled with wise and comforting tidbits. I have visited the site more than once. Keep up the good work.

  • Jessica

    I’m glad to find this article to start me off somewhere. its difficult to find the right career but i want to be successful when i do and be happy. currently my family hasn’t supported me and I’ve been pushed away. I’m married but i don’t feel that I am of how my husband is. I’ve been put down and basically yelled at. My self esteem is real low. I’m using steps to improve my life and be around those that DOES care about me. I have a couple friends that are more supportive then my family but I live with those that are not. The family I live with and my mother to help out brings me down to the point I feel useless and not in control. My mom and husband worries about themselves and not once talk to me. I’m slowly pushing them away and might end up messy. I’m at a brick wall that I’m going to climb over very soon! This is only the beginning for my path to take in life. I can only do whats right for me and my future!

  • G

    I’ve just quit my job today and I was so depressed because no one in my family know about it yet. I even went out with a good friend who thought I am still working. This decision brought the sense of being free to me but I feel very guilty for not being able to tell everyone I love about the truth. The thing is.. I like my job but I don’t fully enjoyed being there. I find myself forcing my mind, body and soul every morning to get up to go to work and being a very laid-back type of person.. I don’t like scheduled routine. I don’t like being in a box full of pressure. I just can’t. So I quit and I don’t regret it. I know what I want.. Although I do not know how to get it.. I know what I want. I am going to leave my country in 2014 to travel. I love adventures and I am not giving up on my dream. I don’t care if everyone I love do not understand this. I just need myself to understand me.

  • iamivy

    Just what I need as of the moment. Thank you for this. Very helpful!

  • Such an amazing article Alden! Thank you for posting this.

    All 7 points are extremely important, I especially love #1 & #7. When pursuing your passion, you are faced with so many uncertainties it’s ridiculous- this triggers fear and fear triggers a yearning for support from those around us as well as the ones we are targeting. Applying what you just outlined calms that storm quite well.

    I often tell all the “closet entrepreneurs” that I work with that there are only two types of people in this world- Those that follow their dreams and those that don’t.

    So by all means keep pushing and go after that one thing that you are passionate about. Do it with all your heart! When faced with doubt (due to lack of support) listen to what Audrey Hepburn had to say…”Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!””

    I’d love to help if you are on the fence and afraid to quit your job to pursue your passion. I’m a good catalyst to ensuring you make it happen 🙂

    This is your life and you only get one. Inspire others #Purposepreneur

  • Marry

    i tought what if i apply to the copenhagen university, i starded the paperwork, and also beating my ass with danish so that way everything will get easier, one day my mom saw me studying and she ask me about it,when i told her she just say it´s not possible, and i don´t think u can make it, i couldn´t believed my own mother.

  • pink24

    I see it’s been awhile since people posted, but I’m hoping someone is listening here. This post really resonated with me, especially now that I feel myself indulging absorbing other people’s negative thoughts about me. I’ve been pursuing writing for the last six years and am truly passionate about it. It’s all I ever wanted to do. I feel like I’ve been steadily progressing, getting an MFA, publishing articles, and now working on my first book in hopes of landing a publisher and an agent. This all sounds good, right? Yet the people around me are not supportive, and they’re supposed to be the closest people to me, namely my family. They put it down because I’m struggling to make ends meet. And am unmarried. I’m a 36 year old woman, but it’s not like I even want to be married or have children. And for this my family thinks my life up until now has been a waste. They tell me to give up my dream. It’s hard for me to not indulge in this, since I’m still struggling. I’ve taken the last year to focus solely on writing my book, which was an amazing experience. I completed it. And now I have to revise it and send it out. Yet my savings is steadily depleting. I am looking for job so I can support myself, but I can’t help but think, has my life been a waste? Because it feels like as of now I have nothing to show for it. I know this sounds very depressing, but I guess it’s just how I feel right now after having a conversation with a ‘naysayer’. Has anyone ever had a dark moment like this? What do you do? I know I should trust myself and the Universe, but sometimes I find it really hard.

  • JoJOe

    Ah.. the path less taken. No one at your back, you will be ignored and shunned.
    Most famous people experience this. The first course of action is going to be difficult and that is self love and self acceptance of your choice. The second will be great doubt.
    When you feel either strongly, know that you have made the right choice. Will it bring, fame and fortune? Maybe, maybe not. But if you pursue it for either of those reasons, it will be unattainable. As in the Tarot card the FOOL, you are at the precipice of your journey and must surrender and walk, jump, fly off the cliff into unknowing. That faith can be a daunting thing.
    That turns many people back thinking “What was I thinking”
    Now comes the reality of unreality and will be most confusing, as it does not feel, look or act like normal society in any regard. Here is what I call the Valley of Emotions. Here you walk alone without a big stick (ego). Here you will go through hell and heaven of constant change and it will become a feeling of abandonment, loss and sacrifice. Here is where you will bare your soul in a desert of choice. This is the hardest road of change. You will notice things about yourself, the universe, the sky, moon, time. You will often loose time or you will stop doing things “on time” you may not take care of your appearance, you may go for long walks in the darkness of night. You may drive somewhere only to realize you don’t know where that is. You may stop talking to people and start talking to others. This is the place of change and many dark nights of the soul. It’s the hardest place to pass. Here you will slay your dragons. Most run home at this point, most simply miss safety and comfort, others cannot face their dragons. And this is ok. Aborting a mission to regroup is totally acceptable. Proceed with great patience. Patience beyond what may be comfortable.
    “No one has died from being uncomfortable” Proceed with the uncomfortable.
    Once through the valley of emotions you will come to a gate or bridge or door.
    You will see it in a dream, a sign, a person, a life challenge. For me it was a dream, I was in a deep well, possibly a well of desire, I was rocketed upwards where a thick metal lid flew off and was flying through a starry night and met up with a control panel. I believe it is my place of reprogramming, redirection. But you will know it has great meaning.
    This is the door of Belief.
    This is where you will mourn. This is where you will question and ask. This is where you will spend much time letting go of the past. You will experience great sadness a “dies irae” a death. This passage is where you will leave behind without regret, guilt or remorse.
    This will take time. This is a place you will rewrite your beliefs, this is a terrifying place to freedom. But “it will be your finest hour”
    I have to go know.. will be back ….. with the mystery of the Door of Belief.

  • LB

    Thank you! i am a recent college graduate looking to move to a large city. My family has always been supportive of me—when I am doing what they deem appropriate. No one in my family has ever moved off so I think they are discouraging and unsupportive because of their own insecurities. It is hard to deal with. I definitely want my family to be proud and encouraging but ultimately I am an adult and need to please myself first.

  • Great article, very on point.

  • Kate Edwards

    My husband did this 10 years ago. If it had brought him happiness I would be a lot more supportive.

  • Isabel

    OMG that is so true! I am an artist and have the dream of starting up my own freelance business. I feel a lot of judgement from my family as well, especially my dad. He doesn’t seem to value Art nor my talent sometimes. He’s always pointing fingers when I fail at something and says “I told you so.”, but when I succeed he shows support (even though he can’t express it very well, but I see a change in his attitude).
    It discourages me so much to feel constantly disapproved by family, like they don’t believe in you and would rather take the safe route that brings in money every month (aka “boring day job”), as if you can’t call it a “real job” just because you enjoy what you do…
    A lot of my insecurity as an artist comes from the way people around me seem to just dismiss my Art, but I won’t give up on my dreams, life is way too short not to be brave! Ignore the sayers and surround yourself with other inspiring and positive people, that’s the best way to keep you going! :))

    Best of luck to all,

  • Japanesegroundskeeper

    Basically I am right there! Except I need thier support because I am going on a missions trip and need finacial support! I have had people say they dont think the trip is worth financing because I am in a groundskeeping roll in stead of running the show. I am trying to find other ways to get the cash but would also like them to see that there are no small parts. Suggestions? PS I am in a time crunch and have less then 2 weeks to get the money so I can’t even organize a decent event in that amount of time.

  • Japanesegroundskeeper

    Not sure if this comes to late but i have recently posted a short comment on here. I don’t know what your beliefs are but I still believe that even if no people on earth are supporting me GOD is in control. My biggest struggle with that is simply that people physically say negative things and God is sometimes harder to understand.

  • ggdebgg

    well… my question is, if someone doesnt DISCOURAGE your passions – is that supporting you? I mean, they take no interest in it, like if you play a sport they have no interest if you got a goal or not, or if you made the playoffs and they dont come to your game… But they dont tell you YOU can’t go to your game… is that support??? I guess it could be worse and should be thankful.

  • joju

    i dont know if i am being sensitive or acting weird but i sacrifice most of my joys just for my family so that they will be happy but they never once tries to understand m or they dont even trust me but they trust my friend…they are giving me money but i dont want that i want to talk to them and i want love i dont need boyfriends to make me feel better but ineed my family to support me…i even sacrificed my dreams for them and now here i am crying day and nights i wanted to become a child specialst but now i am in an engineer….why should i take these seriously why cant i let ’em slide?i want to forgive evrybody including myself but i cant even control my tears it just falls with my throat…as if i cant swallow anymore….

  • Brian-

    i feel as if i relate to this comment almost more than anything i have read in my entire life. i am very curious to hear more about your story if you’re willing to share.

  • optimist

    Oftentimes things don’t work out exactly how we want them to, sometimes they turn out better and sometimes they don’t, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t learn from the experience and appreciate the value in taking a chance. It is more important to figure out the next step then to dwell on what didn’t work.

  • blue

    me too ???

  • FkHaters..

    Happy that I’ve read this blog… It was my intention that I googled this topic up because I too at some point get fed up with haters! I don’t want to justify or rationalize my experience, but its true how friends and family will distant themselves from you etc… But I’ve learned, and its simple as this, 90% of population all have the same common limited beliefs, zero ambition, no dreams / goals / passion / financial planning etc… They’re soaked into convention of everyday life…It’s funny how you outgrow most of these people. You become a different person unique and equipped with more abilities / skills etc… I’ve been in the self development area – books to audio tapes etc learning and improving myself for 3 years and counting and its been such a blessing for me…

  • Sharlie

    This article, and your other article on anger, have helped me tremendously. Very rarely do I meet someone who I feel like I can relate to in such a way, even on the internet. I appreciate you and your articles, thank you.

  • Ivy

    Hi there. I just read this and I feel awfully the same. My grandmother is the one supporting my fees for my studies and college. She wanted me to take up Accountancy in which I did. I thought I can do it, but in the long run, I have lost interest since all that math and analyzing isn’t my forte. I’m more on the arts than the analytical kind of person. I wanted to take up Film but I also thought to myself that it’ll be hard to earn a living there so I can just consider it as a hobby. I also wanted Multimedia Arts but studying in that field is very expensive and I don’t want to be a burden to my grandmother who is having trouble financially. One last thing came to thought: Broadcast Communication. I want to explore the world of mass media. When I told my aunts that I wanted to shift, they told me that I can’t do it because “I don’t know how to speak”. (I’m only shy when I am with my relatives since when I was a child, they bullied me for being an attention seeker). When they asked me where I would want to study, I told them that I want to pursue my dreams at the most prestigious state university in our country. They told me that it’ll be impossible for me to survive there because the university’s program there is very aggressive. They also mocked me telling me that I should have a high GPA in Accountancy because “they thought I was smart”. I wanted to tell them that I’m not fond of math but I just kept silent. I felt like crying. Hard. It was very nerve-wrecking and the pressure is on since I have failed my subject. I really want to shift because I can’t see myself as an accountant. All that sitting and analyzing where the money went is boring. I hope you could give me some advice and I hope it’s not too late. Thank you.

  • Ohyeah

    Your life is never a waste. You have to trust the timing. If you believe what you have is gold you will have gold. It will take hard work and dedication. Even loneliness because the people that are successful usually don’t have many people around them that think just like them. 99% of humans get up and work a 9-5 only 1% live our their dreams so that is why support comes at a narrow pace. But just kick ass an live life the way YOU want it!!

  • fulu

    this was a year ago, and I hope you are in a better place now, but keep writing. The darkest times will flower the deepest wisdom in you and your work will be rich because of it. Sending you good energy.

  • Wondering

    What I need help with is that it seems everyone around me can encourage everyone else but me. I am in a high stress job that carries more responsibility then most people want, however, my family, friends and boss seem to be very resistant to anything outside these parameters. Isn’t part of life to have people who believe in you on some level beyond what I can provide for them – also shouldn’t loved ones be interested in my life improving or that I’m happy? It seems everyone else has loving caring support – sigh.

  • Person

    Thank you so much for this post!! Made me feel better because my parents are EXTREMELY old-fashioned and I’ve been so frustrated recently. Your message helped 🙂

  • heris

    It is better to be alone than in bad company. (George Washington)

  • unclesam328

    #3 or friggin’ care.

  • wiser4life

    Yes, true.

  • hundred

    Sometimes it just hurts, how much of an a**hat someone can be. Most of the time, they don’t even realize their a**hat-iness either.

  • marleyshia

    okay why is my life so horrible i always treat my friends,enemys nice and why don’t they be nice to me I always forgive them

  • Princess E

    1,4 and 5 sounds close to me in my situation.

  • Richard “King Richard” Doredan

    i go thru this, but in a peculiar way, i’m a songwriter, and entertainer, playing guitar in a band( in addition to family and job) i have a friend who is a writer too and always criticizing my efforts at being creative, always telling me i’m not trying hard enough, always telling me my songs aren’t meaningful enough, always telling me always saying i need to dig deeper to create something more a reflection of my own life, in short always pointing out every single mistake he sees in the QUALITY of what im doing.. what do you say to a freind like that ???


    I’m a sixteen year old girl and I feel like no one supports me. I have trouble finding out what I want to do in life and instead of telling me that it will all be fine, people around me tell me that I really need a degree and a job and money and everything. I feel like I’m letting everyone down.
    Usually I don’t really care what people think, but I think that is different when it comes from your loved ones.
    I feel misunderstood, and I’m not so sure how to fix that yet.
    Your tips will defenitly help me find the courage to go on, with or without support.
    If anyone has any experience with a similar situation, I’d love to hear about it in a reaction to my comment or via my blog

  • CCarolinee

    This article has been incredibly helpful and I’m really thankful that you decided to both share your story, give advice and thus help. English is my major but recently I litterally fell in love with Turkish(a tv show was a trigger). My cousin, whom I love dearly has been kind of insensitive about it. She jokes with it, it’s weird for her. That was completely ok but, after her being more and more sarcastic I realized that the pain and stress caused by her reactions had amounted. But you are right. Your passion is the priority. Since ‘falling’ for Turkish I’ve never felt happier, more alive and enthusiastic <3

  • Edgar Do O Nobre

    I feel useless and a nobody because nobody wants to hire me…its just sucks

  • Tyler

    I don’t comment on articles or anything like this ever, but reading your post actually made me feel better about my situation. Haven’t recieved hardly any support from family or friends for following my dreams and I just wanted to say thank you for writing this. It actually made me even more confident in my decision. You’re an awesome writer, keep it up. God bless.

  • Joanna Bewley

    The toughest of all is going through this with your partner. I’ve been married 23 years. When my husband picked me up late last night from a film shoot that I was paid to do(we are sharing one vehicle)he was livid. He yelled and cussed at me the entire 30 minute drive home for incoveniecing him and then began mocking my love for the stage and performing. I’ve never felt so hurt. It ended with him telling me that he’s never going to do this again and I’ll have to figure out my own way to set if I ever want to do it again.


  • zane

    Your advice really cheered me up alot especially after what my parents told me.. honestly, I dream to be a performer and musician because of my passion for singing. But im in asia and asian parents are usually skeptical about this route. parents would always put me down and make me doubt my singing :/ but thank you for your advice (: it has helped me alot (:

  • JoJOe

    Brian, I hope you went through the door.. I have been on a physical plane as of late…

  • Solo

    I think I could deal with people that don’t support or understand what I’m doing. In my case it was simply starting a blog as a challenge and creative outlet to counteract the depressing effects of my mundane, soul draining, mindless clerical job.
    What I’m having trouble dealing with is the hostility I encountered from coworkers when I shared my excitement about this accomplishment ( this was a big accomplishment for me as I didn’t know anything about blogs or technology in general). They not only didn’t support me, they actually sabotaged me, they went to the owner and told him my blog was not good for the company.
    There is nothing about the company, owner or any of the employees in my blog but he did not read it and said he didn’t need to… He took what they said as gospel and told me to disable the blog..
    I didn’t disable it but left it dormant for over a year…got fired anyway.
    Yes, I did hate that job and I truly believe the anxiety was making me physically ill but now it weighs so heavily on me that people went to such lengths to take something away from me that’s so inconsequential to them but made me happy.
    Almost equally devastating was realizing that the people who were “supportive” were not willing to speak up in my defence.
    I understand the reasons…not speaking up in my defence is about self-preservation, I understand it though I think it’s cowardly. The hostility comes from their own insecurities. I understand it but I don’t know how to defend myself from such malicious and targeted attacks on my minor accomplishments. I try to ignore the negative people but they are refusing to be ignored. So now I’m at a loss do how to proceed.

  • Thank you for this article.

    I have always been one to do my own thing and follow my heart and calling but have often wondered why my “friends”, even family seemed to pull away and not support me.

    I know most don’t understand, many will never have courage to really LIVE their lives

    I recently made a HUGE move to Kauai and left just about everything behind to move to a place where I knew no one. The calling to do this was powerful so I just did it!

    Although I am good with living my life on my terms (always have), there is a part of me that is sad that even family members seems distant.

    Thanks again for this article… reminds me that even though I may not understand the behavior, I will never regret the decision to truly LIVE.


  • B U K L A U

    With all honesty, I went against my teacher because of how me and the ENTIRE class see that she doesn’t teach us or prepare us for the test we will have to eventually take (AP US HISTORY TEST). When I went against her, no one supported me despite my calling them the night before and arranging everything with half of the class. No, not only did they not support me but also stood up for the teacher by telling me to “step outside”. It was not in any way embarrassing as it was upsetting to see that I had the courage to do what they practically ask for and begged to happen and they just stabbed me in the back. Situations like that showed me the cowards and the real friends. Only one friend walked out with and I am more than proud to call her a friend. This teaches me so much but … I just couldn’t fathom the inhibition that laid upon them in such a time of my need for them. Nevertheless I think what I did was right and I think I spoke my mind without fear nor with hesitation. I will proceed with the school’s investigation. With all hopes the matter will be resolved logically and with due process of both law and adequate fairness.

  • Life

    so then, what you are doing at home?

  • Becky

    I have experienced this my whole life as a creative person. I was a very creative child and studied drama, violin and piano. My father had absolutely no interest in any of my performances or concerts, and occasionally (when angry) would call me “useless”. I got a scholarship at the end of high school to study design, and he only focused on the fact that I didn’t get high marks in other subjects. As an adult I have had such a desire to create, and have slowly worked through a degree in the particular creative field I’m interested in, but in the back of my head I hear my father’s voice – and it has kept me inert, not taking 100% action on learning to master a medium with which to create. My mother hasn’t given me the support I so desperately wanted, but for different reasons. I think she feels she doesn’t want to get my hopes up (and also doesn’t really understand the creative arts), but I find myself analysing her words, trying to find some ‘proof’ that she doesn’t think I’m capable of making good art. I find it so, so hard to believe in myself when my own mother and father seem to think I’m incapable of succeeding in my passion. It’s gotten slightly easier as I have gotten older though. I like this article, and will try to use it to move forward.

  • kim

    Thank You. I needed this.

  • James garrity

    I know that half of my soul is literally eve of Genesis I will stand by her always where ever the road leads me.I can relate to her emotional pain.I trust her and believe she is God’s daughter.I will never abandon without conditions.if she ever intended to harm me it would have already occured.I patiently wait for her healing to begin.I figure we have forever.she’s worth the wait.

  • James garrity

    Would you believe some angels would rather die than fail god.I feel like I’ve completed half my mission in life.I’ve acquired half of his daughters soul.eve is literally half of my feel her soul cuddle with mine inside my body.I love her so much.she is the kindest soul.the love of the soul b never dies.I’m literally never. Alone.she is inside I enjoy hearing her laugh at my nonsense.if if she laughs at me I cherish her laugh.we have moods that are up and down I love both sides of her.forgiveness applies to eve also.even if I’m the only one that supports her.I stand by her.I’m her biggest fan.

  • Ellen

    Great points. I am finding more about myself as I get older. I have a list of things that I want to do. Sometimes I find people who also want to do the same things, other times, I do it alone. I don’t want to pass up opportunities because of what other people think. Life is short, it is too short to settle for what you don’t want and to do what you don’t want instead of what you want to do. I am not talking about things like having a job, doing chores or paying bills, I am talking about when people used to tell me, “Oh, you don’t really want to do that, let’s do this instead.” Sometimes we all need to try doing something that we think we may have an interest in. It’s better to find out if you try than if you pass something up and wonder.

  • Marie

    This has helped me a lot, what I’m about not say might not seem important or maybe you have heard it so many times, but I feel like I’m living in a world where I can’t run to anyone for help or guidance, support, and the most painful thing is it’s coming from home, I don’t care about my friends opinion or so, we learn time to time that friendship can be full of fake people, jealous people and people who don’t have your best interest to heart, so I stick to my family, but it’s not helping at all, I feel like every step I want to take in life my parents have a way of blocking me and when it comes down to spend my money I saved up throughout my college life they stop me or make me feel like I don’t know what I’m talking about or what I’m doing with my life, when I say spend I mean spend my money on buying a car or doing my driving test or paying for my driving lesson, I try to do something they pull me down, but when they see a family friend and their children are doing something with their lives I get this off putting attitude that makes me feel like shit, it’s not normal for me at my 20’s still wishing I could run away like I was when I was 8, it’s not normal to cry every night wishing I was somewhere, it’s very hard to actually put down what I’m going through, but on top of everything I’m still trying to force my way through it scary sometimes with no guidance or support it hurts

  • Mau Reyes

    ^^^^this comment made my day and describes perfectly how I feel….I don’t want to give up but doing it with no one having your back (I lost all my friends and have drug addictions) and with all the complaints from my “loved” ones just raises the level of difficulty I’m still stuck at my parents house and I’m 24 years old…..i just hope I’m not wrong but fuck it I already tried to study 2 careers and failed, I worked in countless factories and low wage jobs including construction and farming to know I don’t wanna work for assholes anymore.

  • disqus_kp0dxZW9U1

    Love this post! I’m really happy to see that I am not alone in getting discouraged in pursuing my dreams, which in my case is my parents discouraging me from going back to university. This post and the discussion going on in the comments is enlightening 🙂

  • Zahra Zadeh

    Feeling down recently and I was pursuing what I love doing but people around me are not supporting me. This is what I am looking right now but the feelings that I have is really heavy to the point where I want to stop my passion for blogging. To tell you the truth, all I need are words of encouragement but how am I suppose to stand up when I feel like I’m pulling them down the way they are pulling me down too. 🙁 I just feel lost right now and no one understands me… *cries* I just want to pursue what I love doing but they want something better than what I am actually doing now. Ugh.. I feel really hopeless… I feel happy at some point because I am working with companies and getting offers but I just cant fix myself together when all I hear are words of negativity. When I feel happy, the negativity in myself drowns my happiness. I always hear them everyday to the point I want to stop blogging and just live the way they want. But will I be happy? I wont… 🙁 cant take this 🙁 sorry for the rant and for my bad english…

  • Dwayne Kenneth Steinmetz

    I have been clinically depressed most of my life.I am not anymore, but I am extremely unhappy about the way my family has treated me.I can’t say anything about a productive idea and I never hear a congratulation! I’m expected to do almost everything and I just want to live my life and take care of my daughter.I can’t see her because of my brother and the people who enable him, and always blame me.I don’t think that anyone believes me and I am sure that the one person who can help is being lied to.I am trapped!What do I do?

  • Dwayne Kenneth Steinmetz

    I’m probably going to just play their own game, but I would rather not.

  • Stephen Chang

    I am going through this myself, I am currently a writing major and I want to be a sportswriter. But, my parents especially my dad think that it is unrealistic that I will be a sportswriter. He questions my decision to not be a nurse or an athletic trainer and makes up a story saying that the reason why I didn’t want to be a nurse was because I called an escort service and claims that I give up easily. That is not true because I figured out on my own that the medical field wasn’t for me and since it was something that was unlikely to make me happy, I turned to my biggest strength and that was writing. I love to talk about sports and recently have worked on a blog that I created over the summer that was writing about sports. This is my passion and I am very happy when it comes to writing and sports because I enjoy talking to people about what is going in the sports world and learning about different athletes. I do have the support of other people including my former roommate from freshmen year of college because unlike my parents, they believe that I can become a sportswriter and they know that is what I want to be. If my parents are unwilling to sincerely show their support for what I want to pursue and love, screw them!

  • Night Fury

    indeed a powerful message you gave. Thanks a lot !!!


    The hard truth is that sometimes your family and friends want you to fail. Not only that, they’d prefer to see you down, out and ruined, literally, before they see the slightest hint of success. Pursuing your passion can lead to the bitter end of lifelong friendships and even turn you into an outcast in your community.

    For years I’ve struggled with wrapping my head around why members of my own family would rather see me miserable and buried alive than pursue a hobby that brings me joy. Why they would make it their mission to erode my confidence at every turn. I could somewhat grasp the notion that it might make them feel jealous. But that was no answer.

    I thought, maybe they’re not good people. But they’ve been there for me in certain ways in the past, so I couldn’t just say they were horrible people. I came to realize that they’re not good people for my well-being in terms of pursuing my passion. They’re toxic, family or not, and in some ways must be cutoff completely.

    You don’t get to choose your family. It breaks my heart that someone you love feels so empty and unfulfilled in their life, that they seek to obliterate any sense of joy or happiness in somebody elses life.

    The most important thing that I’ve realized is that success, fame, fortune or power won’t bring you happiness. If you arrive at said destination, others will secretely covet feelings of ill will towards you and hide behind half-smiles.

    The real success is enjoying the process of what you’re working on. Their real objective is in extracting the joy from this process. You don’t want to be a star, you are one already. Even if you work a 9 to 5 job and you work on you nights and weekends, the aim is to dismiss your objectives and work so that you have no place to run, and they maintain some sense of control.

    Remember this one thing. They don’t control you. They can’t control you. Try not to obsess over “making it” and throw yourself into your work when you have the time to do it. If they don’t understand, let them go. Walk away without a second thought. Be prepared to be hated. Be prepared to be isolated. Be prepared to be shunned. Be prepared to be belittled and degraded.

    It sounds bad. But this Bukowski quote I always refer to provides some comfort, and I hope it will to you too…

    “If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”

  • Black Bart

    Aldan is so right on. I can relate to all this. I started a business 6 years ago. It took a while to take off. Our average yearly earnings have been about $50k per year. We are about to sign a contract that will triple our earnings for 2 years at least. I work when I want from where I want and handpick my clients. One rule: no pushy demanding premadonna assholes. I love it. Aldan said he left a “career”. I left one of those as well. Now I’m here…. at a major crossroads. Just got BBB certified. Baby on the way. I feel bad for my naysaying family. I think they fall into the “they don’t understand what I do” category. My work is international in nature and I speak 3 languages to get done what I need to get done. I love every minute of it. I plan on doing this work until I’m 90. My family thinks I’m poor because I only make $50k but i have all the time i want to do whatever I want which is what all ghe the other people in corporate jobs are struggling so hard to get…. time. So does that mean I am ahead of the game compared to my corporate counterparts with hefty titles and big pay who will sacrifice their health and family time to serve their task masters? Or am I the idiot because I’m paid less, see my family when I want, go out to eat when I want, and basically do what I want when I want to do it? How about you email me your answer? since youre either in traffic hating life, in the office with people you dont like, in the gym burning stress from the above cited activities , watching 2 hours of crap tv to numb your mind, or asleep so you can dream of a better life only to wake up and repeat the whole horrid cycle, Ill most likely never see you while I’m working from the beach or a park bench. P.S. buy less shiny crap to use to impress other people who buy the same shiny crap. Ever seen 2 nerds compare overpriced iphones? Its hilarious. Namaste.

  • Jourdann Schuler

    Wow this was so encouraging and helpful for what I am going through right now. I want to go pursue my dreams of being an artist and travel for a little while after high school, and I have been told countless times that I need to have a strict plan of what I am doing and where I am going or else I will fail…and that is very discouraging so this helped, thank you so much!

  • Domestic Diva

    this is a brilliant post..

  • Ella

    Thank you I needed this 🙁

  • Karim

    I’m 23 years old, I don’t work and I’m still living with my family. I want to study medicine, my goal is becoming a doctor, I can see the goal right infront of me and I know I can do it even though I have studied all my life in a different language and the place I am and the medical school I have my eyes upon is in a whole different environment and language of it’s own but I’m mocked everyday by my family and friends, saying I can’t do it, I’m too old to attend medical school, I have to find a job and live on my own pocket, the best people can’t get into the medical school so what makes you special? I hear all kinds of comments and sometimes I sit and just feel I’m being torn apart by these words. I know it’s hard, I know I have the lowest chances of competing with those who have the language advantage and they were educated in the country I’m foreign to but I have this fire inside me that you can do it, it’s not impossible, hard yes but not impossible and I need time, I need the opportunity, I can’t focus with all these comments and forcing me to find a job which I don’t like and have a future I don’t want and look at a doctor in a hospital and say to myself that could have been me in the white coat. Am I mistaken? Are my family right by saying I need to find a job?

  • John

    I have just finished a software engineering degree and my relatives are discouraging me from pursuing a career in programming. Programming is something I love and want to do. How do I deal with this?

  • willow reed

    but does living your life as you see fit include living with mom and dad? if not, find out how to move away from them and do it.

  • willow reed

    dark moments: constantly. in fact that’s how i found this post. my family puts me down. i am a mom, and my daughter and husband think they are oh-so-smart about everything. i can’t let them win. i just can’t. 🙂

  • willow reed

    you are 24 and tried “2 careers.” you are freakin 24!! you have a lot of growing up to do! you will have factory jobs and other crap come your way, and that’s ok, you are 24, you are young. get help with the addiction, stop having idiot druggie/alchoholic friends and your life will change. seriously. it will get better. you need to stop the bad behaviours and actions you are doing and the morons you are hanging around with and move up in your life. hit the books again. you sound really intelligent, use it, you are a smart person 🙂

  • willow reed

    Lots of posts from 20ish-somethings whining about their lot in life. Well, sorry buckos but age 24 is very young. Many of them sound like they are living under mummies and daddies thumb. Of course if you don’t have your own back, nobody will have yours. I had a dark day. I am 53. I live with people that are rude, never (yes, the absolute never) have my back. i am a mom. I want to write, so I write. I have a relatively crappy job but I still find time to do what I need to do. I think you can to. There was a post from a 50 year old that made me feel a lot better. When you get to be our age, then you can whine and complain, but when you are in your 20s, get a grip.

  • I’m in this same boat. On facebook if i post a stupid picture or something silly, my friends are all over it, but when I post a link to one of my songs or a video, and when I tell them where I will be playing; nobody is there. It’s very frustrating and I don’t understand it, I always thought that if they’re my friends they would be there in the audience or at least take 4 minutes to listen to a new song; after all I’m there when they put something up. I want to lean towards jealousy, but I don’t want to sound pompous.

  • Karsen Avery Jackson

    “I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!” ~Theodore Roosevelt
    I have always had high hopes for myself, but people judge me as a single mom. This included quitting jobs to pursue a business. (That is successful) Going to college full time, while trying to grow business, and now moving to a more “secure” rental (our previous was at an apt. With really sketchy people all around it, but obviously my bills will cost more now) I have faced so many doubts from my family. Mostly mom and stepdad and all grandparents. The only person to believe in me is my Dad (thank God) And yes I’m stretched thin, I can’t give 100% to everything, but I try and my will is stronger than all the doubts and so far I have been making it. But people doubting me always hurts. I try hard to get to where I want and to not have my closest family not believe in me is like a stab in the back. I know I have big dreams, but support is needed not criticism

  • Sónia Oliveira

    All my life… I dont remember feeling supported by my family members. None of them. Last few days my youngest brother disapointed me like he s been doing lately. We are apart but everytime he comes close he fills my days with negative atitudes and words. Its hard to concentrate and focus on positivety when one of your priorities lets you down like this. Want to just let go of him, give up on everything i did for him
    Plus my parents always took sides. And since my young teen years that i feel no one understands me in my family so i stand alone for more than 20 years. I m different but im no less, i see life as a precious gift not to waste but im criticized by those who believe that life is sacrifice. I dont believe their minds. I stick to what i see. But God, i suffer their rejection everytime i feel im not good enough. I still fight to not give up on me.

  • MPBJane 100000

    I am frustrated because no one at the time seems to support my goal of working out in college. I’m trying to prevent my friend’s lack of support to bring me down since they are telling me that what I’m doing is not ideal, that my gym membership is causing me to lose money, or that it’s too far away. At the end of the day I have only myself to rely on mentally, physically, and spiritually, to commit to the goals I set, such as going to workout consistenly, growing stronger, and chiseling away at my unfit body. Since the future is uncertain I hope to make it there myself. I’m so alone among my college peers right now, but maybe that’s what’s best for me. The challenge of living up to what I want out of life is better than having someone tell me what to do or someone’s opinions dictate my life for me. I hope I can overcome this frustration by being true to passion 🙂

  • holly dedic

    Thanks was trying to work out why my mother was so unsupportive.
    She couldnt even answer the question dont i deserve a good partner and good income and mentally stimulating career.

    (Shouldn’t a mothers correct answer be” dont be stupid ofcourse you deserve those things i shouldnt even have to say that!!!”)

    She’s repeatly discouraged me from attending university and even told me to quit and get a cafe job.

    She repeatedly encouraged me to work menial brainless jobs instead of trying to have a career and told me to beg for a job back where i was bullied and badly paid and opportunity for progression was non exsistent. Im not stupid yet she tells me i should just be a recpetionist . She has friends whos kids have their own businesses or are nearly doctors and couldnt answer when i said none of those parents would tell their non stupid child to just be a receptionist. I gave her four personal examples.
    She ignored the fact i was eating excessively and was fat at 16 and years later after i showed her a photo denied remembering seeing me like that.

    She never said a word about what i now years later see as a very abusive controlling boyfriend never sent him home so i could do school work or pursue my own hobbies.

    She always told me never to bother buying a house well i did and i live in melbourne. Had i bought a couple of months later i would have been frozen out of the market from inflation. She said she was proud after sending years telling me not to bother.

    She never told me to make friends or put me in sports classes where i could make friends or develop hobbies.

    I wish i understood her motive but thanks for this article its lead me to figure shes got mental problems and i should direct my focus away from unsupportive people.

  • Karan Bajaj

    Hi sir, i have similar reactions to you. I have started a youtube channel, i make short funny videos in it. People(my friends and family) don’t discourage me but they don’t support me either. Like when i ask them to share my videos they don’t even respond. This article restored the faith in myself that was being lost. Thank you, lots of love and respect

  • Thanks that helped me a lot

  • I’m starting down this road now that I just became jobless. It’s looking pretty dark as I wonder how I’m gonna pay the bills with just a couple months of savings. And yet, I know I need to change things.

  • Sophia

    I don’t want to do ski anymore since I don’t enjoy it. However, everyone in my family straight up assumed it was because it’s “to hard.” Now, I’m renting a violin from the library, and my older brother says I’ll like for the first three minutes and then dislike it- again because it’s “to hard.”
    My whole family says things like that to me and it’s really killing my passion for music and life.

  • What should I do???

    My family don’t really take care of me in what matters: when I talk to them they say that they do that they feed me and buy me clothes and they always expect me to be good at things such as studying when they really don’t provide the good atmosphere for them. They do that for my brothers but not for me. I really lost all appetite and courage to do anything at all: I became lazy, I don’t have motivation… I even have a very important national exam in 4 days and haven’t studied a thing. I’m feeling really down. What should I do please ? PLEASE HELP ME! I really want to pass this exam and I really can’t study…

  • just stay focused and humble, not everyone is going to support you its best to just keep moving forward and always hope for the best

  • Kate

    Oh yes thanks mom. I don’t want to be a director anyway.

  • LAC

    I agree. You are 24. Time for being a drug addict is OVER!!!
    If your parents have health insurance get into a treatment facility immediately. Maybe you have health insurance. Your life will be a bottomless downward spiral if you do not kick your addiction. You will never fulfill any of your potential and you will not get good friends. Although your parents may drive you crazy SUBSTANCE ABUSE is definitely not the way to go. It will make you weeker, more alone and more depressed.
    Please get help! Please!
    You can do it and move forward!

  • LAC

    It is good to support your loved ones when they experience loss. It is a good experience to pitch in and help when the going is tough. Who died? Mother? Father? Grandmother! Grandfather? Are you needed there to provide money?
    The other side of this story is that what you never do is enough. That is not true and I would not argue with the others about this. You are an adult and just do what you can. If, after a certain amount of time you feel you must give less time to your family to pursue your own goals and long term well being, do it.
    Do not let them drag you down forever. You will never be the perfect “substitute” for the dead family member. You are yourself. Maybe they lack empathy for you. After all, you lost the family members too! No matter what you do you cannot bring them back to life and you are not responsible for them dying. I wish you luck and peace.

  • Lijo Thomas

    Perfect timing for me to read the article.. have been a musician for 3 years now.. and honestly life has been so much easier than I imagined while quitting my job.. am in the process of making my dreams come true but some negative comments about my career by my parents and girlfriend had really gotten me down… so reading this just perked my spirits right up again.. thank you so much man :).. always read such good stuff on tiny Buddha

  • Marielle Ames

    Thank you for this Alden! I am going through a career change and needed some reassurance. I now regret telling some of my family members because the responses I received were similar to what you described above. It’s disappointing when the people you love can’t see the excitement and good in these moments. This article makes me feel like I’m not alone in this change and to keep on keepin on!

  • bonzo

    .Thank you! I feel *supported* by your thoughts!
    ……I woke up early this morning…thinking that I have achieved nothing at all that seems worthwhile *to me*…except …at last!!!..I think I have managed to shake off decades of manipulative control. From the two most forceful influences in my life, of groups of people who (it appears to me now) have felt nothing for me, but their own senses of obligation to apply controlling constraints. Part heavy religious, part defensive societal, every kind of coercive, conspiratorial pressure has been applied! From psychological and physical bullying, to the endless, pressured application of religious “carrot and whip” preaching ..with all its promises of paradise and hell!
    Yes, I have been physically beaten up, too, in the past, one controller used to pull out single pubic hairs..and.once kicked me on the floor over and over again until I thought I would die. One would-be matriarch’s recent attempt, is to threaten censorship of any of my communication, to any family members, unless I agree that my character and interests match those recorded in her diaries for the years of the 50s, (when she actually had the physical control over my life that she feels I need now).. another is to threaten penury, isolation, for non co-operation in production of preferred/required artwork.
    I feel astonished, would laugh loud! consideration of this broad view, but recognise that this all amounts to a coming, deliberate abandonment, which is certainly a better option than “control”, but resembles *support* in no way at all!
    I believe that I am now, free. Too far removed in time and place, for more of their ongoing controls to be effective…There is no way for them to hold on to me, or crush me, any more.
    I love a moment by moment life, could feel peace with no more “future” than an autumn leaf! and I’m not afraid of a solitary death if that is all that remains.
    But I feel that now, there might be something left of my own potential!
    I’m 75 years old, but perhaps! about to begin the best part of my life. I have no idea what might happen, now, but no one has power over me, any more.!

  • Patrick Nguyen

    Nobody supports me… I get bullied SEVERELY for being a brony… I tell my dad… My dad doesn’t tell the teacher that I get SEVERELY bullied… #SendHelp

  • Patrick Nguyen

    I have a “*DARK*” life which is so dark that my life is lonely VANTABlack. (But the VANTABlack is darker than anything in space

  • muskaan

    I am 25 1want to go out of my home town and now I have got a call for interview in certain company but my family is criticising me and telling no. instead they want me not to leave my hometown, pass some competitive exam which I really don’t want to neither being an average student I am capable of , and strictly they want their choice imposed on me in carrer, and every other matter even I have to dress up as they like I feel like a puppet, they have make me crazy by saying u were born here and u r girl girls dont live like outside and individuals such a conservative and narrow minded.

  • Divad Yorne´

    This was so fantastic to read. It came at a good time too. I think it is awesome to see comments stretching back for years as well! You write one article, and it keeps giving to people! Thank you for sharing your words.

  • Krystal

    I have a blog that’s a few months old and well I’ve just begun investing time and money into it I’ve found that I get more support from strangers or other bloggers rather than family or friends. I’m always that person that cheers on my loved ones in their pursuit of goals; sadly I haven’t received the same for something as simple as reading my content and giving feedback. So thank you for writing this post. I needed the encouragement to keep pursuing my dream ?