You Were (and Are) More Beautiful Than You Think

Melissa Jeffcott

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~Kahlil Gibran

Does a loved one have a favorite photo of you? A photo by their bedside or on their screensaver that reminds them of a special time and place and memory?

Can I also hazard a guess that this isn’t your favorite photo of yourself? I bet you look at yourself critically and dislike how your face looks, or maybe your body is not cast in its most flattering light. I was reminded of this recently, and it made me think of how I view photos of myself in a whole new way.

My husband and I met in beautiful Byron Bay a long, long time ago. Since we lived in different cities, and we were both young, wild (in the hair department, at least), and free, we would often meet up and spend our holidays there.

This was always a wonderful time, as my love and I reconnected and spent many happy days hiking, surfing, swimming, and discovering the things we enjoyed about each other.

I look back on these days at Byron as some of the most fun and carefree of my life. In my mind there are few better feelings than being young and in love, walking down a beautiful beach at sunset with nowhere to be and nothing to do.

Wow, I was good at practicing mindfulness without even knowing what it was!

Now, this was an era well before the age of selfies and sticks that take photos of both sides of your body. In fact, we didn’t even have digital cameras back then. (Someone pass me a stick of the walking variety—I’m so ancient!)

Therefore, there are only a few photos in existence from this time, and those I do have are all stuck in photo albums sitting at the top of my cupboard gathering dust.

However, there is one photo of me from that time that my husband has always loved. I am sitting on the beach against the rocks, and I’m not more than twenty-two. I am in my favorite purple Mambo swimsuit, with hubbys trusty old Malibu surfboard right next to me.

I am sure if I asked him, he’d say that this photo invokes memories of some of the happiest days of his life. What’s better than being at one of your favorite spots in the whole world, enjoying the freedom of surfing the waves with your beloved, then happily sitting on the beach under the glorious Australian sun?

It will come as no surprise to you that I have never really liked this photo (hello, inner mean girl). I’ve always felt like I had a silly look on my face and my hair (which is crazy enough, at the best of times) was looking particularly wild and windswept.

However, there is no doubt that it invokes great memories, and over the ensuing twenty or more years, my hubby every now and then looks at me with love in his eyes and says, “Hey, my beautiful Mambo girl. ”

You probably just read that and thought, “Aw, how sweet.” But me, the object of such affection and love, would typically roll my eyes and sarcastically say something along the lines of “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” while feeling nothing like that young, carefree girl relaxing on the beach.

You see, I felt that somewhere along the way of getting older and becoming a mother, with the many responsibilities that entails, I had somehow lost the essence of that young girl sitting there, full of love and hope for the future.

However, I can honestly say that as a woman who is now on the other side of forty, with a newly renewed sense of self-belief and self-love (and who still has crazy hair but maybe not those long slender legs) I can look at myself a bit differently. This is what I would say to that young girl:

Hey, you beautiful Mambo girl. In this photo you are young and carefree and in love, and guess what? That nature-loving, long-haired surfie boy taking this photo will go on to be your husband and the amazing father of your three wonderful children, and you won’t believe what else. He still sees you exactly the same way all these years later. Can you believe it?

I can believe it now.

The next time you look at a photo that someone else loves of you, I encourage you to remove your self-judgment and look at it with eyes of love and acceptance. You might be amazed by what you see.

About Melissa Jeffcott

Melissa Jeffcott is a mother of three and life coach helping women on the other side of forty reignite their spark for life. On her blog, Melissa writes about life as she sees it, with plenty of heart and a sprinkling of humor. Melissa is somewhat addicted to social media, and will happily say hello on Facebook and Instagram.

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  • Beautiful story and such a great reminder for all of us.

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  • Love this Mel 🙂 Such a beautiful story and reminder. X

  • Thanks Roxanne, I’m glad you liked it, x

  • Thanks Caz,you are right it is an important reminder to be kind to ourselves x

  • Liz

    64 and just learning to accept the way I look….thank you for the reminder and affirmation!

  • Peace Within

    I’m not fond of taking pictures of myself. This gives me a different perspective though. Thanks! =)

  • onlinetherapyandcoaching

    We’re given such arbitrary standards for “beauty,” but we need to realize that “beautiful” and “ugly” don’t really exist. They are just judgements.

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  • Thank you Liz, I’m glad that is changing for you, as we are all beautiful in our own way x

  • You are so right, we are often very quick judge not only other but ourselves. True beauty comes in many forms x

  • I don’t think many of us are! But I know that my husband and children see me through much kinder loving eyes than I see myself x

  • Clare Greig

    Love this post Mel. I am a little addicted to writing letters from future me to current me so I especially love the last bit.

  • Thanks Clare. Yes, writing letter to ourselves can be a great way of gaining clarity x

  • Georgia

    Nice reminder and article Mel! love it. Much gratitude. xx

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  • Thanks Georgia, I’m glad you liked it , x

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