Dear Sean,
I understand your pain very, very much. I suffer from feelings like this too, and I understand that it is very hard sometimes.
I know that after a hurtful rejection like that, it may be hard to piece yourself back together. However, always remember that you are an awesome human being, and that it is their loss if they cannot see it. You are trying very hard every day, and you are definitely not inadequate. There will be people that notice you, and will come to treasure you. Do not worry, there is always someone out there, rooting for you!
And as to being a good boyfriend, just look out to be kind, every day. Not only will it make others see you as the good person you are, it will change you from the inside out. A caring word here and there, lending a hand when it is needed, a small present for someone, these can all affect you and others in a positive way. Kindness and caring will heal you, and help you continue on.
And it is not wrong to want to be loved. It is a feeling that all of us have, a desire to fit in, to be accepted, treasured by someone. It is not wrong to feel negative emotions, it is never good to hold it all in. Men cry too, just like any other human being.
I truly hope that you feel better soon, and I hope that you will meet that special someone one day (which you will)!!!
-Alice