Jill,

I am worried for you. So many alarm bells going off in my head right now. You don’t want any further contact with this man. He tracked your movements, and bugged your phone. He is controlling, a gaslighter, and possibly dangerous. Stop focusing on “what you thought it was” and mourning the loss of it. Shift your focus to being grateful that you are safe and out of a dysfunctional relationship. Put yourself in the drivers seat of your life and look forward. And find a good therapist who will help you get past this.