Thank you for your response Mimi, Anita and Inky. I am grateful that you took out time to understand and write back. I took some time to think about this too. After I wrote about this on the forum I actually experienced some guilt for having written in a public forum about someone so close in my life because there is a good chance that my mother will get judged for her behaviour, but I needed an outlet so that is behind me now.
Anita, thank you you for answering my questions. That helped me accept my emotions and understand that they maybe a natural response to perceived threat.
Mimi and Inky I am very thankful that you went out and shared your personal experience. What you have shared is invaluable because it gives me hope. I have also tried the stop technique in my own way and only more recently but usually accompanied with a lot of anger. I have seen some change in the last one week with some help from a family member … the exchange is somehow diffused with people around and is on the lighter side. I think ill try this repeatedly for sometime and see how it works… I also realise that repeating the same response reduces the emotion and anger that goes with it, but lets see if it works on bad days.

Why do I perceive negative comments/ observations about my physical appearance as threat?
What should I listen to when someone makes such a observation? I am baffled because I cant put a finger on the persons intent or expectation from me and my mind blocks everything for that minute.
What should I tell myself?
How should I respond to the person making the observation?