You are also right about respect. I don’t think he respected me enough. I was willing to accept that until…it was really bothering me. I don’t feel I was heard.

Though I understand people change and it’s unlikely for a relationship to stay exactly the same like the beginning, I am sad to see the way things are right now. I think about him every minute of the day, try to imagine what he’s doing, where he’s at. As time goes by especially when the holidays are coming, I don’t think I can survive. We started to bond around this time when the air is cool. Now even cool air makes me sad. I am just torturing myself. I know it’s a stage of grieving and this will pass. I read the articles about how to get over this and I am trying different things. When I am done with the activities, my mind is filled with him again. Do I have mental issue? Can I ever stop thinking of him? I am getting exhausted of being depressed and mind rambling. I wake up in the morning feeling like I never gone to sleep. This stage sucks. For a moment, I actually understood why people committed suicide over lost love.

You word rang another bell in my head: attachment. I am suffering this bad because I let myself became so attached to him. I’ll take your word: be kind to self. I will try….for myself this time.

Thank you dear Bernadette.