i’m in the same boat. i’m rather shy, i get wrapped up in whatever social engagements happen to be in front of me.. which i tell myself is being present, but in all reality all of that going with the flow means i tend to find enough social stimulation in coworkers, roommates, and extended friends without really fosterering true friendships. then i tend to rely on a boyfriend as best friend as well. so, now, living alone, with a rather oppressive first snow falling yesterday, i’m looking forward to hibernating to some extent, and focusing on myself. i think if i can come out of this in the spring with clear goals, having taken care of my body, mind and soul, and developed really good habits and kicked the bad i’ll be all the better for it. i’m terribly depressed so i’m not necessarily giving advice. i think connection and relationships are truly important.. i might be giving up, surrendering a bit, going with the flow of the seasons.. in the end i know i have work to do, this is a good time to do it, particularly breaking patterns of attachments and looking beyond those needs because all i really have is myself in the end. ha, i did find myself on these forums however, hence an overwhelming desire to be heard, offer compassion, and bounce ideas around~