Dear Anita,

I hope you’re doing well. I don’t have words to describe how much I appreciate your efforts to help by sharing your story. Every sentence you wrote had an effect on me on such a deep level. I think it will take time to digest new information.

Today, after going through the text again and again, I understood that I choose and I am responsible. I am an adult. I am not a child anymore. All situations can be managed by my adult self. I need to take a more active position in my life.

These are the thoughts I have right now.

Thank you!

Hi Anita! So great to hear from you!

I am so grateful to you for our conversation back in October! That situation became much better because that person is not in my company anymore. It happened so quickly after our discussion. Thank you so much!

Yes, I think you are right, maybe complaining about my manager reminded me of my mother’s complaints. I never saw that pattern myself.

Anita, you correctly pointed out so many things. Yes, I feel so drained after family holidays, for example. Because I do so many things to make everyone comfortable that I never sit to breathe. I remember that during university holidays, I came back to studies all exhausted and looking desperate instead of feeling energized after a break. My best friend noticed that and asked whether everything was ok at home. Because I looked really tired and miserable, I guess.

I am half introverted and half extroverted. I always thought that because of my introverted side I always wanted to stay alone and not speak. But now I think that’s because unconsciously I felt that it drains my energy.

“True support would involve your family recognizing your needs and helping you lighten the load. Instead, their expectations contribute to your feeling overwhelmed and unsupported. By saying that they are supportive, you mean that they thank you for helping them, praising you, saying that they wish good things for you, anything like that?”

– Yes, you described how it really is. Also,now I remember how they made comments after celebrating my birthday. After a few days passed, they said that because of my birthday they spent some money and they were irritated because of that. It hurt me deeply. What’s strange is they would never do that to their spouses, children, etc.

Sometimes I just want to live in a very remote place and enjoy only my company. Also, I do not believe that there are men out there who can be stronger than me. I sense how most of them could not provide the emotional support I need, and I will just burden myself with another person. I don’t know how to break those beliefs.

Thank you for your time.

Dear Anita,

I took some days off from work completely. I am with my loved ones. I realize fully how she affects my confidence, my inner piece negatively.

1. I decided to completely reduce my communication with her at the start of the new year. I am looking for new positions to reduce my interaction to zero.

2. First few days I was sleeping whole day. She eats up my energy which is already at the minimum.

3. I found so much healing and strength with your support, Anita. I am so grateful, you can’t imagine. I think I might start a new thread on another topic.

Thank you so much! Take care 🥰

Dear Anita,

Thank you very much for sharing your experience. I really appreaciate it! It must be extremely difficult to go through such experience.

1. I don’t understand why people behave like this. I thought I was going crazy because she behaves as a nice person generally. Are they traumatized? Can I help somehow?

2. I will try to minimize my communication with this person. I really want to get another position and try to minimize my interaction. What kind of advice would you give in such situation?

Thank you for your warm words about my loss. It changed the whole world for me and I was turned upside down inside. I found that grief is a full time job.